Well I'm not the worlds most physical guy
But when she squeezed me tight
she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola

LOL :) Drove me crazy this bludy song .... trying to find it I mean. Because all could I remember of it from the time we used to hear it on the radio back in the old country were the words 'Cherry Cola'. But after an hour of frantic Googling here it is - Lola by The Kinks from way back 1970. Wish it was a better recording though.



International Wimmen's Day tomorrow. You make our world so beautiful. Yes, even the boys who wanna be girls! Which is what this song is about actually.

So what would I like to change for women in this country? ... Everything! Especially the way we idiot men think. Which is why I make JC go up to the counter at the booze shop to get me beers. OK I admit it's more to see the looks on the faces of all the buggers there ... makes me laugh very single time.

Peace, love, and wimmen with balls!*

*no pun intended :)

Well bugger me blue! I bet the producers of all those other nominees for Best Picture are scratching their heads wondering why the hell they spent all that money making them movies when all they had to do was go to India, pick up a bunch of slum kids, an ageing Bollywood star who danced around trees for twenty years, along with a couple of other nobodys, and voila - mission accomplished! Oscars by the bagful.

Goes to show it's not always about how good or bad you are, at times it's just plain ol' luck.

And at the risk of sounding like the girls at HHC I have to say Freida's dress was totally not happening. A midriff baring saree would have been killer.

Jai Ho!

To me it looked like chicken, but still I asked the guy what it was. Breast piece, he replies. Okay cool, I thought, and asked him to pack me two plates. When we get home and start eating it tastes like anything but chicken ... tough and rubbery is what it was. Damn, these ain't chicken breasts, these are bludy goats balls, says one of the guys .... No even goats balls taste better than this! I'm gonna take it back and kick that buggers ass, I said, quite pissed off at having been taken for a ride. No hang on SwB, says our man P, what did the guy say exactly? He told me it was breast man! Yes, but did he say whose breasts? What do you mean "whose breasts?" Other animals have breasts too you know, he says, with a stupid smirk on his face. Because I think I know what we're eating - these are udders dude. What do you mean udders ... as in tits? Exactly. These are beef tits! They call it Khiri, it's something of a delicacy.

Bludy hell! I have a good mind to turn vegetarian I tell you ... enough of this shit.

***

Will Slumdog win it? JC sure seems to thinks so. Don't think I'll be up at 6:30 tomorrow morning to catch it live.

And it seems there's something going on between Freida and that Patel bugger or so the tabloids are saying. Now I feel even worse for that boy she dumped. These wimmen I tell you!

Till tomorrow morning then. You reckon Freida will turn up in a sexy midriff-baring saree?

See - even her fiancé didn't expect the movie to be that big a hit! Otherwise he'd have wasted no time marrying her. But now she's given him what we Macs lovingly call "the kick". I kinda feel sorry for the chap though, seems like a nice boy. Don't worry dude, as my buddy Al says: 9 out of 10 wimmen are bleddy matlabis ... you'll find the one soon enough.

***

Did a little browsing at Landmark yesterday (which is one my fav ways to spend a Sunday morning). And it's always the same routine whenever I go there: start with the magazines- the auto magazines first, then Osho Times followed by Guitar Player and if I see something interesting then Business Today or one of those. Followed by a quick walk through the music section and finally the books - Indian authors first ... Blue Penguin, Green Rhinoceros, Yellow Chimpanzee ... yeah they usually have titles that sound like that. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little. The three mistakes of my life by Chetan Bhagat caught my eye, flipped through and put it down. Might even be good who knows. But to be honest the only books I really enjoyed reading were the ones that made me laugh. Like anything by Spike. So I went to the guy behind the computer and asked him to look up his inventory for Spike. Spike who? he goes. Milligan, Gunner First Class. Milligan ... Nope, no Milligan. Bugger!

***

Clicked on HHC in my feed reader just now and there is Freida with some old British dude on the High Streets of London. Sure beats Hill Road I'll bet ... or does it? I always found them High Streets very boring to be honest ... maybe it was because I couldn't afford anything. But it does seem like our girl is going overboard with all the designer outfits, bags, and worse - shoes! What a waste! I mean wait till you're Angelina or something. One (unexpected) hit don't mean you go on a splurge fest. She'll learn.

But she does look pretty drained, doesn't she? Yeah the life of a celebrity ain't easy honey. Ask me I know :) LOL

***

Something yesterday got me thinking again - of life and love and all that can go wrong. How much of it is due to the mistakes we make and how much is left to chance. But it's how you pick yourself back up that makes all the difference.

JJ on a Monday morning. I love this song. Nice week.

It's hard to concentrate on someone else's story when you've got a hundred swimming around in your head.

Slumdog didn't cut it for me to be honest. Saw it this morning by myself (which is how I like to watch my movies) and came away with pretty much a blank. It's one of those see it and forget it films. A story must be told for a reason, and here I could find none. Brilliant acting can only do so much to hold together a patchy story.

As for our girl Freida I'm thinking of asking her to marry me. Don't think I've ever felt so in love with someone I've seen on screen.

***

A friend in the music business was talking to me yesterday about hooking up with them and doing some gigs around town. Something I'd really like to do, long as I don't gotta sing no shit by Hoobastank. And no weddings. Strictly no weddings. Cuz if there's one thing I ain't it's a goddamn wedding singer.

***

Here's a song by a guy who never had trouble telling a story. This for someone I've known a long time but never really known. Calls herself the Lost Little Girl.

After seeing how he'd become the object of much teasing in the office in recent days, I said to the guy called Ramalinga Raju-- Why not change it for some time to Rajalinga Ramu? Not too much of a hassle really ... cuz you'd be leaving the Ling where it is and just moving Rama and Raju around. He didn't seem to get the humour.

But seriously, Satyam- who would have thought huh? Who's next I wonder - Infosys, Wipro? And now the government has stepped in to bail them out. Which is both a good and a bad thing. Good because we know that if the next one to go under is the company we're working for it's not all curtains for us. Bad because it sends out the wrong (or the right, whichever way you look at it) message to all the other aspiring Ramalingas out there. And God knows how many there are.

***

Slumdog Millionaire. Start with what's a slumdog? I think it's important that the makers of the film clarify. Because from what I've read there's a very real danger that people outside of India watching the movie might somehow be inclined to call us all slumdogs. Just think- the Indian Street in Edison, NJ (actually they're almost all Indian streets there) could end up getting called Slumdog Avenue! Hell, the state of New Jersey itself could well go from being the Garden to 'The Slumdog State'.

But don't you just love Freida (Pinto)? Yeah, she's pretty, isn't she? I tell you I'm gonna watch that damn movie just for her. And I'm not saying that cuz she's one of us*.

*Actually she's Mangy but that's ok ... we'll make a concession here.

***

My first weekend off this New Year. I feel like doing something ... have a few drinks with the boys, maybe go out to town, I don't know. Anything but sit here and blog.

Jack Johnson and Ben Harper. Tell me how you like the vocals on this one .... High Tide or Low Tide.

I watched Rock On last night. Finally! Right here on my home PC. It could have been a much better movie I think, but it does a good enough job of giving the audience a glimpse of what music does to your soul if you are really passionate about it. If I could I'd quit my job right this minute, buy a new guitar and sing for whoever wanted to listen. But sometimes I wonder which is worse - having too many who want to sing or too few who want to listen.

***

The girl who plays Joe's wife Debbie - what's her name?* - she's brilliant as the Mac wife, totally the part. Reminded me of my mom when she says to him: "You're taking up the job and that's all!" When they say that you know it's end of discussion. And then when she goes: "I wanted to be a fashion designer, but now look at me- I'm working in your goddamn family's fish business!" LOL I love it when our wimmen swear!

There's just one thing wrong though - Mac families don't speak Hindi at home. English dialogues between Joe and Debbie (with Hindi subtitles) would have been much more convincing. The whole film in fact lacked that touch of reality, which is what I felt could have made it an awesome movie. You need to make a story look real.

You know I'm thinking- What if I write a screenplay and send it to Farhan Akhtar? If he likes it and decides to make the movie, I could quit my damn job and do what I really wanna.

I am this close to buying a Bullet btw. Big silver beast with Windancer II painted on the tank.

Yeah, it's all in the head at the moment.

*Shahana Goswami's her name. And she went to Sophia's, so no wonder.

***

Kick off the New Year with this blast from the past from Blondie & Deborah Harry. This a belated birthday dedication to Yashita.

One of the perks (if you can call it that) of travelling these inter-city Volvo buses is you get to watch some of them Bollywood movies you would never see otherwise. And that's how this time I happened to see Rab - or rather Aditya Chopra - Ne Bana Di one crapload of a movie. Masand is right when he uses the word 'contrived'. And I'd say it's unfair to call it a modern day fairytale, because fairytales come with a message or a moral. This one comes with nothing - just one very sweet looking Punjabi kudi. And I can understand that there might be a Punjabi kudi dumb enough not to recognize her own husband after a makeover, but when that husband happens to be Shahrukh Khan, it just cannot be. Because along with the hair, the clothes and the mousche, he'd have to get himself one heck of a nose job!

***

Last day of the year. I hope '09 delivers on everything '08 couldn't - for you personally, and for the world and mankind in general. As for me I hope to put more effort into my music, pick up another degree, and just be a better person than I was this year. Also maybe travel a little.

As for the Blues, yeah I think we'll be around.

Close it with the Blues Brothers. Cheers!

Yeah, I think our Parvathykutty should have won it; not some Playboy bunny looking Ruskie. I was joking with JC that being Mallu all she had to do if she didn't know the answer to some trick bludy question was say, "simmbly!". JC wasn't amused.

So what will kutty do for werld peace? Act in a few Borellywood filims, of course. Then what? Then she will gett maerried, no ... to some richh enRI doecter in Dubeii. LOL!*

... And I hope Kerala Chief Minister whatshisname is not thinking of visiting her home in Bombay. You never know.

Johnny be good Fogerty ... luvvit! Nice Sunday.



* Sorry. Spent so many years with them growing up, I can't resist doing the accent.

Now this is something every guy needs ... something I've been looking for a long time. Big thank you to our girl S for the link. Can't wait to try the Baingan Patiala ... looks very tempting!

***

OK - Been a while, hasn't it? Yeah. The Rao's and Patil's have lost their seats, the BJP has lost Rajasthan, and we have a finance man in the Home Ministry. Wouldn't surprise me one bit if he throws in a Security Cess next budget .... if only to upgrade the NSG from a bunch of SWAT men into real anti-terrorist commandos. I was shocked, at the same time slightly amused, to see them talking away to the media and taking photos of themselves on their mobile phones outside the Taj. Killing a vastly outnumbered enemy after they have taken the lives of 200 people is not a victory really. And lets face it- this round they won. They had the balls to take on the collective strength of our police and defence forces in the heart of our nations financial capital with the kind of bravery, however misplaced, I wish we'd see in more of our policemen, not the kind of cowardice they displayed at the CST.

Another reason I say they've won is because at the entrance to a mall today I saw people being frisked, bags being checked and what not. Suspects in our own country is what we've become. I didn't see any bags being checked or people being frisked in America, except at the airports ... so why's it happening here? Because the government cannot be trusted to do its job, that's why. Something that became very evident to me as I was boarding my Delta flight to New York this September. After going though all the security checks at Bombay airport I was surprised to see a bunch of 7 to 8 Delta ground staff positioned near the entrance to the aircraft waiting to check us and our carry-on luggage again. And I gotta tell you the sight of them with their rubber gloves had me scared somebody might stick their hand up my bum! Thankfully that didn't happen, but they did put their hands all the way down into our bags and frisk us thoroughly, even going to the extent of feeling the insides of our shoes.

Anyway, it is what it is. Something we just gotta live with I guess. Been a crazy week at work ... so much to finish before the holidays. Our man NBZ will be down in a couple of days and then there's the wedding happening (not mine). Really looking forward to all the festivities. The friend of a friend who was shot at the Taj is doing ok, btw. Bullet's been taken out and he's home from hospital.

***

Shahrukh's new movie is crap I hear, don't watch it. Have you seen how he's been doing the rounds of all the news channels condemning the Jihadis and in a way trying to tell everybody what a good Muslim he is? Yes dude, we know you're a good Muslim, even though I bet if given the chance you'd happily shoot Salman in the ass!

Bowie and Queen ... Under Pressure.