Goodbye 2005!
I hope I never
see you
again.
December 31, 2005
December 24, 2005
December 13, 2005
Operation Duryodhan (don't miss the name!), the latest sting operation conducted by Aaj Tak actually had me bludy laughing. Our politicians have become such a bunch of jokers - imagine taking money for raising questions in Parliament!
And on the Volcker report that landed Natwar Singh in so much trouble, we now learn that former PM Vajpayee and his son-in-law were also involved in those very same Iraqi oil deals! Poor L.K. Advani must be waiting with eager anticipation for that day to come when he will retire from active politics. After all the hungama the BJP created in Parliament over Natwar Singh, for it to be now revealed that their senior-most leader at the time was also involved in the same scam, must be highly embarrassing.
But what to do? We are led by a bunch of bungling idiots ... who waste more time changing the names of our cities than improving the living conditions that prevail in them. Bengaalooruuu it seems! .... Someone please call the Limeys back!
***
I started reading Robin Sharma's Discover Your Destiny with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and found it impossible to get past the first chapter because it was so immensely boring - a watery concoction of Richard Bach and what is probably Buddhist/Zen teachings. The title itself had me somewhat confused, and so I looked up the word destiny.
1. The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined;
2. A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.
Going strictly by the dictionary meaning of the word, it would appear that discovering one's destiny would be a waste of time because there is nothing you can do to change it. Or is he telling us that we can indeed change our destiny? In which case the title of the book is somewhat misleading .... Or perhaps he doesn't believe in destiny at all, I'm not quite sure.
Like Richard said:
“We generate our own environment. We get exactly what we deserve. How can we resent the life we've created for ourselves? Who's to blame, who's to credit, but us? Who can change it, any time we wish, but us?”
I have a feeling that this is exactly what Sharmaji is trying to tell us. Only he felt like saying it in 200 pages!
And who's to say that Richard himself didn't borrow from ancient Buddhist/Zen teachings? Quite likely if you ask me.
***
Reading Manu's post on Tendulkar's record-breaking 35 test centuries got me thinking about what it is that really makes a person great? Is it what they've accumulated for themselves in terms of money, fame and records, or is it how they've utilized that money and fame for the betterment of those less fortunate than themselves.
Take Bill Gates for instance - world's richest man and all that. They say 9 out of 10 of the world's computers are running on his software; and that he's been a bad boy for not giving anybody else more than a very tiny piece of that very big pie. But when I see how much the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation is doing, I feel its probably good that Billy's got all the cash and not anybody else. I was reading in the current edition of Outlook magazine that the B&MG Foundation has pumped in so much money into health services in rural India, you'd think our Ministry of Health is being outsourced!
Frankly, I have more respect for Steve Waugh than Sachin or any of our Indian cricketers. When I first heard that he had come down to India to oversee the Udayan project in Calcutta, I simply couldn't believe it. Why would someone want to come here all the way from Sydney to help the children of sex-workers and lepers? He's worked hard for his money - shouldn't he be starting a chain of fancy restaurants, or buying himself a brand new Ferrari and zipping through the streets of Sydney? ... And I'm sure driving one of those mean machines is a lot more fun over there than here in Mumbai.
To me that is what makes a person great. When he uses the fruits of his success for the betterment of somebody other than himself. The rest of them so-called celebrities and superstars, are in my view, just ordinary folk like you and me - doing a job we're paid to do. And if they are just like us, why do we waste our time adulating them?
And on the Volcker report that landed Natwar Singh in so much trouble, we now learn that former PM Vajpayee and his son-in-law were also involved in those very same Iraqi oil deals! Poor L.K. Advani must be waiting with eager anticipation for that day to come when he will retire from active politics. After all the hungama the BJP created in Parliament over Natwar Singh, for it to be now revealed that their senior-most leader at the time was also involved in the same scam, must be highly embarrassing.
But what to do? We are led by a bunch of bungling idiots ... who waste more time changing the names of our cities than improving the living conditions that prevail in them. Bengaalooruuu it seems! .... Someone please call the Limeys back!
***
I started reading Robin Sharma's Discover Your Destiny with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and found it impossible to get past the first chapter because it was so immensely boring - a watery concoction of Richard Bach and what is probably Buddhist/Zen teachings. The title itself had me somewhat confused, and so I looked up the word destiny.
1. The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined;
2. A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.
Going strictly by the dictionary meaning of the word, it would appear that discovering one's destiny would be a waste of time because there is nothing you can do to change it. Or is he telling us that we can indeed change our destiny? In which case the title of the book is somewhat misleading .... Or perhaps he doesn't believe in destiny at all, I'm not quite sure.
Like Richard said:
“We generate our own environment. We get exactly what we deserve. How can we resent the life we've created for ourselves? Who's to blame, who's to credit, but us? Who can change it, any time we wish, but us?”
I have a feeling that this is exactly what Sharmaji is trying to tell us. Only he felt like saying it in 200 pages!
And who's to say that Richard himself didn't borrow from ancient Buddhist/Zen teachings? Quite likely if you ask me.
***
Reading Manu's post on Tendulkar's record-breaking 35 test centuries got me thinking about what it is that really makes a person great? Is it what they've accumulated for themselves in terms of money, fame and records, or is it how they've utilized that money and fame for the betterment of those less fortunate than themselves.
Take Bill Gates for instance - world's richest man and all that. They say 9 out of 10 of the world's computers are running on his software; and that he's been a bad boy for not giving anybody else more than a very tiny piece of that very big pie. But when I see how much the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation is doing, I feel its probably good that Billy's got all the cash and not anybody else. I was reading in the current edition of Outlook magazine that the B&MG Foundation has pumped in so much money into health services in rural India, you'd think our Ministry of Health is being outsourced!
Frankly, I have more respect for Steve Waugh than Sachin or any of our Indian cricketers. When I first heard that he had come down to India to oversee the Udayan project in Calcutta, I simply couldn't believe it. Why would someone want to come here all the way from Sydney to help the children of sex-workers and lepers? He's worked hard for his money - shouldn't he be starting a chain of fancy restaurants, or buying himself a brand new Ferrari and zipping through the streets of Sydney? ... And I'm sure driving one of those mean machines is a lot more fun over there than here in Mumbai.
To me that is what makes a person great. When he uses the fruits of his success for the betterment of somebody other than himself. The rest of them so-called celebrities and superstars, are in my view, just ordinary folk like you and me - doing a job we're paid to do. And if they are just like us, why do we waste our time adulating them?
Peace, love and real heroes.
December 10, 2005
"The season for spending is here"
Said Gasper in Balthazar's ear:"
Gold, frankincense, myrrh
for the young connoisseur -
Said Gasper in Balthazar's ear:"
Gold, frankincense, myrrh
for the young connoisseur -
The shepherds are bringing the beer."
Nice one, no? :) Got that from the BBC's Lunchtime Limerick page that Aparna, our very own limerick queen had linked to. And I don't call her the limerick queen for nothing - hers is fourth best! (assuming they are in order of best to worst).
***
Ran into good ol' Foxtrot Ally this morning. Poor fellow was looking quite worried again.
What's the matter bro, I asked him
Dude, can you believe, Sandra's (his girlfriend) parents are taking her to a match-fixer tomorrow!
To a what?
Match-fixer dude - those bleddy old aunties who fix marriages ... people also have no kaam-dhandha, I tell you!
Match-maker, you mean.
Whatever yaar! Here I'm bleddy getting tension and you're teaching me English! .... I don't understand why her pop - bleddy old fool - won't accept me. And the worst thing is she is also not putting up any resistance! See these dames how they are - always looking for bleddy greener pastures! I'm telling you dude: some gorilla bugger from Dubai will come with a thick gold chain and nakli Rado and she'll say he's Tom Cruise and go with him. Kya bolneka yaar ... sab paisa paisa paisa!
Hey, you're very good at drawing right? So why don't you take classes and become a professional artist or something. I read in the Times today that one of Francis Newton Souza's paintings got sold for 6.5 Crores!
But Newton Souza is dead now, so what's the use of all that money? The apple should fall from the bleddy tree when you're alive, dude! No-no, I'll have to ask them to make me the team-leader in place of Moushami, otherwise I'm quitting! .... Hey Blues, you want me to fix you up with Moushami, kya? She's totally fida over us Goan buggers ... you know na - thoda guitar-buitar bajaya, how their knees become weak :)
No, don't want bro. Bengali girls are usually too much of a handful.
Haan yaar, woh toh hai ... this Moushami also has big ones!
Nice one, no? :) Got that from the BBC's Lunchtime Limerick page that Aparna, our very own limerick queen had linked to. And I don't call her the limerick queen for nothing - hers is fourth best! (assuming they are in order of best to worst).
***
Ran into good ol' Foxtrot Ally this morning. Poor fellow was looking quite worried again.
What's the matter bro, I asked him
Dude, can you believe, Sandra's (his girlfriend) parents are taking her to a match-fixer tomorrow!
To a what?
Match-fixer dude - those bleddy old aunties who fix marriages ... people also have no kaam-dhandha, I tell you!
Match-maker, you mean.
Whatever yaar! Here I'm bleddy getting tension and you're teaching me English! .... I don't understand why her pop - bleddy old fool - won't accept me. And the worst thing is she is also not putting up any resistance! See these dames how they are - always looking for bleddy greener pastures! I'm telling you dude: some gorilla bugger from Dubai will come with a thick gold chain and nakli Rado and she'll say he's Tom Cruise and go with him. Kya bolneka yaar ... sab paisa paisa paisa!
Hey, you're very good at drawing right? So why don't you take classes and become a professional artist or something. I read in the Times today that one of Francis Newton Souza's paintings got sold for 6.5 Crores!
But Newton Souza is dead now, so what's the use of all that money? The apple should fall from the bleddy tree when you're alive, dude! No-no, I'll have to ask them to make me the team-leader in place of Moushami, otherwise I'm quitting! .... Hey Blues, you want me to fix you up with Moushami, kya? She's totally fida over us Goan buggers ... you know na - thoda guitar-buitar bajaya, how their knees become weak :)
No, don't want bro. Bengali girls are usually too much of a handful.
Haan yaar, woh toh hai ... this Moushami also has big ones!
December 1, 2005
November 29, 2005
November 28, 2005
November 26, 2005
November 25, 2005
"I'll teach you how to escape death.
... there is a raven in the eastern sea which is called Yitai ("dull-head"). This dull-head cannot fly very high and seems very stupid. It hops only a short distance and nestles close with others of its kind. In going forward it dare not lead, and in going back it dare not lag behind. At the time of feeding, it takes what is left over by the other birds. Therefore, the ranks of this bird are never depleted and nobody can do them any harm. A tree with a straight trunk is the first to be cut down. A well with sweet water is the first to be drawn dry."
-- Taikung Jen, in a conversation with Confucius
from: Fate is the Hunter by Ernest K. Gann
... there is a raven in the eastern sea which is called Yitai ("dull-head"). This dull-head cannot fly very high and seems very stupid. It hops only a short distance and nestles close with others of its kind. In going forward it dare not lead, and in going back it dare not lag behind. At the time of feeding, it takes what is left over by the other birds. Therefore, the ranks of this bird are never depleted and nobody can do them any harm. A tree with a straight trunk is the first to be cut down. A well with sweet water is the first to be drawn dry."
-- Taikung Jen, in a conversation with Confucius
from: Fate is the Hunter by Ernest K. Gann
November 17, 2005
The last thing I'd expect to be doing in sunny Goa is a friggin' blog post, but here I am doing just that. Actually I was just strolling down the main street here at Candolim when I happened to see an I-Way Internet Cafe. And it's airconditioned too! Wow, Goa is getting better. And it's not just an Internet cafe, it's also a Baskin Robbins and US Pizza joint combined. Which is not a bad idea ... I just might grab a bite after I'm done on this machine.
The weather is lovely ... glorious I should say. Lots of firangs (Limeys mostly) , and surprisingly lots of desi's too. I could tell some of them were Bongs - you can't mistake those round faces and specs :)
And why is it that 7 of 10 women I see are bludy fat! No, seriously - saggy lard buckets, the lot of them! But I haven't been down to the beach yet ... hopefully it should be a better scene there.
Y'know, I just love this place. It is so relaxing. I wouldn't mind buying a Bullet and becoming a motorcycle pilot (as they are called here) for the rest of my life. And it's sad to see how many outsiders have made Goa their home. If it were left to me, I'd organise demolition squads and kick these Kashmiri handicraft blighters back to goddamned Srinagar!
Adios then. More from Goa later.
Peace, love and sand in your shoes.
The weather is lovely ... glorious I should say. Lots of firangs (Limeys mostly) , and surprisingly lots of desi's too. I could tell some of them were Bongs - you can't mistake those round faces and specs :)
And why is it that 7 of 10 women I see are bludy fat! No, seriously - saggy lard buckets, the lot of them! But I haven't been down to the beach yet ... hopefully it should be a better scene there.
Y'know, I just love this place. It is so relaxing. I wouldn't mind buying a Bullet and becoming a motorcycle pilot (as they are called here) for the rest of my life. And it's sad to see how many outsiders have made Goa their home. If it were left to me, I'd organise demolition squads and kick these Kashmiri handicraft blighters back to goddamned Srinagar!
Adios then. More from Goa later.
Peace, love and sand in your shoes.
November 11, 2005
I wonder what goes through the mind of a person who faces the prospect of a very long prison sentence. Like Abu Salem. He'll have plenty of time to think about what he's done - the mistakes; the errors in judgment; the foolishness. And surely he knew what the consequences of his actions would be, ultimately - so why'd he do it?
Was he mad ... or just misguided?
And how many of the decisions we make in our lives are the result of being misguided? Should we be put away too ... or are we excused because our mistakes didn't hurt anybody but ourselves?
***
They say that when a person is confined to a tiny cell, he tends to move around a lot more than he would have, had he been confined in a larger enclosure.
The same is also true of the mind, I guess. When there are fewer options, you start to get more innovative.
***
I got thinking about Victor today. I will never forget Victor. He is probably the only person I have been mean to in my entire life. And I remember it like it happened yesterday. We were both in Class 1 at the Holy Name High School, Wodehouse Road (Bombay). It was short recess and there was a long line at the canteen, and I wanted me a packet of those multi-colored badishap sweets. Not wanting to waste my time waiting in the queue, I spotted Victor hanging around. So I made him a deal. If he went to the canteen and got me those sweets, I'd share half of it with him. He was a poor boy, that Victor, and so the prospect of getting half a packet of those for free was too good to resist. So he goes to the canteen, stands in line, and after what seemed like ages comes back with the goods. And what do I do - I take the sweets from him and tell him to get lost. And he was smaller than me, so he couldn't start a fight.
It's been so many years since that day, but I still remember that look on his face. He trusted me ... and I cheated him.
The victims may forget, but never the perpetrators.
Peace, love, and a chance to say you're sorry.
Was he mad ... or just misguided?
And how many of the decisions we make in our lives are the result of being misguided? Should we be put away too ... or are we excused because our mistakes didn't hurt anybody but ourselves?
***
They say that when a person is confined to a tiny cell, he tends to move around a lot more than he would have, had he been confined in a larger enclosure.
The same is also true of the mind, I guess. When there are fewer options, you start to get more innovative.
***
I got thinking about Victor today. I will never forget Victor. He is probably the only person I have been mean to in my entire life. And I remember it like it happened yesterday. We were both in Class 1 at the Holy Name High School, Wodehouse Road (Bombay). It was short recess and there was a long line at the canteen, and I wanted me a packet of those multi-colored badishap sweets. Not wanting to waste my time waiting in the queue, I spotted Victor hanging around. So I made him a deal. If he went to the canteen and got me those sweets, I'd share half of it with him. He was a poor boy, that Victor, and so the prospect of getting half a packet of those for free was too good to resist. So he goes to the canteen, stands in line, and after what seemed like ages comes back with the goods. And what do I do - I take the sweets from him and tell him to get lost. And he was smaller than me, so he couldn't start a fight.
It's been so many years since that day, but I still remember that look on his face. He trusted me ... and I cheated him.
The victims may forget, but never the perpetrators.
Peace, love, and a chance to say you're sorry.
October 19, 2005
It's happened again! What is it with these Bombay police constables doing nasty things to little girls .... well, not so little, but still. I say the Police Commissioner should work out a deal with the brothel owners in the city to let his men have a session once or twice every month (or every week if the urge is that intense) with the ladies at discounted rates! At least that way the rag-pickers will be able to go about their business in peace.
***
Read in the ET today that Coca-Cola India's bank accounts have been attached by the Income Tax Dept. (those IT guys sure have lot of fun, I tell you). Coke, apparently, has spent more than what appears reasonable on advertising and marketing (and tried to claim everything as genuine business expense making it eligible for deduction). Well, I'm sure they have .... how much did they pay Rhithik that time - 7 crores?
What a waste! But why do these companies think we'll buy their rubbish just because some filmistar is endorsing it? Beats me.
***
My sweetheart Angelina is slated to be the new Bond babe! Hell yeah! And I say they should have made Brad (Pitt) the naya Bond, not that weird looking Limey.
But don't you think our man Rhithik would have made a terrific Bond .... his deadly dance moves would be enough to drive away the bad guys - no need for any fancy gadgets or fortified BMW's. Think of all the money MI6 would save!
BFN.
October 9, 2005
I've always enjoyed reading everything Sonia's written, but her recent series of articles on the lives of Bombay's dance-bar girls, who are now being abused more than they ever were, are simply outstanding. I think everyone should read this.
My cousin Q was telling me what a huge nuisance these girls have become in Goa. They are everywhere, he says. To make matter worse, they pose as tourists and look and dress like regular girls making it very tough to recognize them, hence the Goa police find themselves in quite a fix.
.... Which goes to show that you cannot solve a problem simply by making it go away. But was it really a problem for the city of Mumbai - having these girls doing what they do? I ask this because our man Q tells me that in Goa it is not the Goans who are utilising their services - it is mostly their former patrons from Mumbai .... who are now forced to travel 600 kilometers only because their favourite source of entertainment has gone south!
They say that behind everything the poiliticians do, there is a motive - a hidden agenda designed to benefit only themselves. In this case I wonder what it could be.
***
CiW's latest post talks of something quite intriguing - it seems the Navratri festivities also serve as a means, or as a front, I should say, for people to get some "action". Well, well, well ... who would have thought?
.... And to think the cultural police say things like Valentines Day are detrimental to our culture/values.
all you need is love, love
love is all you need
***
Ran into my buddy Ally yesterday evening. He was quite flattered when I told him that I've seen links to this blog that read "Ally & Blues"
Says he's doing everything possible to convince Sandra's folks that he's the right guy for their daughter, but old man Dias will only settle for someone who is in The Gulf or in Canada/Australia/New Zealand, if not the US. The fact that he's probably earning more at his call-centre than many of our buggers in Dubai is immaterial.
And he's very disappointed at not getting a chance to be on KBC-2 ... the money would have tilted things in his favour with Sandra's pop. I guess he's just got shit luck like me
But can you imagine our man Ally on KBC?
Big B: Pehla sawaal, ek hazaar rupiyan ke liya. Are you ready Ally?
Ally: I'm ready dude.
Big B: Which of these body parts do women usually not wax -- (A) Arms (B) Legs (C) Back (D) Buttocks?
Ally: *somewhat confused* Mein lifeline use karenga - Phone a friend!
Big B: Theek hai, Computerji, Sandra Dias ko phone laga dijiye.
... tring, tring ...
Sandra: Hullo...
Big B: Hello, is this Sandra Dias? Namaste, main Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hoon - Kaun Banega Crorepati se. Mere samne hot-seat mein aapka dost Ally baita hai , and he needs your help. Agli awaaz aap Ally ki sunenge. You have only 30 seconds, your time starts - now.
Ally: Pudding, which of these body parts....
Sandra: Buttocks!
Ally: Are you sure sweety?
Sandra: Of course I'm sure yaar!
Ally: ...arre, but I remember once you told me you-
Sandra: Just shut your gob and lock buttocks, fool!
Ally: OK dude, it's buttocks.
Big-B: Computerji, buttocks ko taala laga dijiye. Right answer! Aap ek hazaar jeet gaye!
*Applause*
Big-B: Doosra sawaal, teen hazaar rupayon ke liye - Which of these states was declared the Number One state in India by India Today magazine: (A) Karnataka (B) Punjab (C) Goa (D) Maharashtra?
Ally: Goa, Goa!!
Big-B: Are you sure? ... confident? ... lock karoon? You still have two lifelines left.
Ally: Just lock it dude, my Goa is bleddy Number One!
Big-B: Computerji, please aap Goa ko taala lagao. Ohhhhh, I'm so sorry Ally, but that is the wrong answer. It is Punjab.
Ally: What shit man??? how can it be - bleddy balle-balle buggers! Impossible ... tera computer main virus hai kya?
Big-B: But why did you say Goa of all places? ... Aisa kya hai Goa main?
Ally: You said Number One, dude -- in Goa the booze flows like piss!
My cousin Q was telling me what a huge nuisance these girls have become in Goa. They are everywhere, he says. To make matter worse, they pose as tourists and look and dress like regular girls making it very tough to recognize them, hence the Goa police find themselves in quite a fix.
.... Which goes to show that you cannot solve a problem simply by making it go away. But was it really a problem for the city of Mumbai - having these girls doing what they do? I ask this because our man Q tells me that in Goa it is not the Goans who are utilising their services - it is mostly their former patrons from Mumbai .... who are now forced to travel 600 kilometers only because their favourite source of entertainment has gone south!
They say that behind everything the poiliticians do, there is a motive - a hidden agenda designed to benefit only themselves. In this case I wonder what it could be.
***
CiW's latest post talks of something quite intriguing - it seems the Navratri festivities also serve as a means, or as a front, I should say, for people to get some "action". Well, well, well ... who would have thought?
.... And to think the cultural police say things like Valentines Day are detrimental to our culture/values.
all you need is love, love
love is all you need
***
Ran into my buddy Ally yesterday evening. He was quite flattered when I told him that I've seen links to this blog that read "Ally & Blues"
Says he's doing everything possible to convince Sandra's folks that he's the right guy for their daughter, but old man Dias will only settle for someone who is in The Gulf or in Canada/Australia/New Zealand, if not the US. The fact that he's probably earning more at his call-centre than many of our buggers in Dubai is immaterial.
And he's very disappointed at not getting a chance to be on KBC-2 ... the money would have tilted things in his favour with Sandra's pop. I guess he's just got shit luck like me
But can you imagine our man Ally on KBC?
Big B: Pehla sawaal, ek hazaar rupiyan ke liya. Are you ready Ally?
Ally: I'm ready dude.
Big B: Which of these body parts do women usually not wax -- (A) Arms (B) Legs (C) Back (D) Buttocks?
Ally: *somewhat confused* Mein lifeline use karenga - Phone a friend!
Big B: Theek hai, Computerji, Sandra Dias ko phone laga dijiye.
... tring, tring ...
Sandra: Hullo...
Big B: Hello, is this Sandra Dias? Namaste, main Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hoon - Kaun Banega Crorepati se. Mere samne hot-seat mein aapka dost Ally baita hai , and he needs your help. Agli awaaz aap Ally ki sunenge. You have only 30 seconds, your time starts - now.
Ally: Pudding, which of these body parts....
Sandra: Buttocks!
Ally: Are you sure sweety?
Sandra: Of course I'm sure yaar!
Ally: ...arre, but I remember once you told me you-
Sandra: Just shut your gob and lock buttocks, fool!
Ally: OK dude, it's buttocks.
Big-B: Computerji, buttocks ko taala laga dijiye. Right answer! Aap ek hazaar jeet gaye!
*Applause*
Big-B: Doosra sawaal, teen hazaar rupayon ke liye - Which of these states was declared the Number One state in India by India Today magazine: (A) Karnataka (B) Punjab (C) Goa (D) Maharashtra?
Ally: Goa, Goa!!
Big-B: Are you sure? ... confident? ... lock karoon? You still have two lifelines left.
Ally: Just lock it dude, my Goa is bleddy Number One!
Big-B: Computerji, please aap Goa ko taala lagao. Ohhhhh, I'm so sorry Ally, but that is the wrong answer. It is Punjab.
Ally: What shit man??? how can it be - bleddy balle-balle buggers! Impossible ... tera computer main virus hai kya?
Big-B: But why did you say Goa of all places? ... Aisa kya hai Goa main?
Ally: You said Number One, dude -- in Goa the booze flows like piss!
Big-B: I think I definitely need a break from this.
October 6, 2005
The truth is that life is hard and dangerous;
that he who seeks his own happiness does not find it;
that he who is weak must suffer;
that he who demands love, will be disappointed;
that he who is greedy, will not be fed;
that he who seeks peace, will find strife;
that truth is only for the brave;
that joy is only for him who does not fear to be alone;
that life is only for the one who is not afraid to die.
- Joyce Carey
September 30, 2005
September 23, 2005
September 18, 2005
Goddamned Kolhapuri missal! - had me out of action for the better part of three days .... you want to clean out your system, do it cheap with a plate of bludy missal - only 12 bucks! And a damn good job it does too. Reminds me of those days when my mother used to force a spoonful of castor-oil down our throats .... man, that was so awful! I tell you: giving your kids castor-oil should be officially declared as one form of violent child abuse, punishable with the guilty parents having to take 5 tablespoons of the damn thing themselves. That'll teach 'em!
Anyway, I'm better now. Watched KBC-2 on tele last night with my folks and JC. She treated us to kathi-kababs and tandoori chicken, and even bought me a beer. She's a good girl; if only she weren't so damn lazy.
And yesterday was the first time I watched an entire episode of KBC this season. Great Indian Warrior Chief 'Big B' looking good as usual in his Reid & Taylor. Felt real bad for the guy from Chattisgarh who looked like he'd go far, but instead ended up wasting all his lifelines on one question. You know, a little common sense can go far in situations like these .... and being a pretty intelligent guy himself, I don't know how he thought the audience and then his friend would have the answer to a question that he did not have the slightest clue to. He should just have flipped the damn thing ... audience and friend are only for things you're not completely sure about. And frankly that was a very tough question - who the hell would know that Nepal is the only country in the world that has a national flag that is not square (there are square flags?) or rectangular in shape ... seems it's triangular or something! Always were bludy weird buggers, those Nepalese!
Anyway, I'm starting to sound like Merril now. Interesting blog that, btw - quite funny that someone should take the trouble to start a blog dedicated to Warrior Chief and his crorepati's ... just lakhpati's uptil now, anyway.
But Kajol and that Devgan fellow are set to win a crore tonight. I've always liked Kajol ... not as much as I love my Nandita of course. Are all Oriyya girls dark and dusky ('earthy' is the word Pompy once used) like Nandita? Maybe I should log on to shaadi.com and find out. I hear they now have a service that delivers marriage proposals straight to your inbox ... For millions of love-lorn buggers like me, downloading their mail must never have been quite as exciting!
But isn't it something of a mystery that these celebs are always winning big money on KBC?
***
And guess what I saw during the break on KBC yesterday? Yep, yett-another Shahrukh Khan ad - this one for shakkar-paani (aka Pepsi). Seems to me like the Indian advertising industry has decided to go where no one has gone before when it comes to "creativity". What I wouldn't give to be among the brilliant minds diligently at work at JWT (Pepsi's ad agency) .... Hell! I wouldn't mind being a fly outside one of their office windows just to catch a glimpse of pure genius in operation. And I hear those creative director chaps get paid big bucks - talk about having your cake and eating it! Sigh! If wishes were horses...
So this one has our hero in the role of a snake charmer. And as you've probably guessed by now, I just couldn't resist :)
SRK dressed in snake-charmer suit doing his stuff with whatever that flute-like thing is called. A bunch of Pepsi bottles sway rhythmically to his tune. Suddenly he hears a violent, hissing noise coming from the corridor outside. The next moment he is confronted by an angry 22-foot-long giant python, but this one is unlike any python he's seen before. It's head is, well - different!
Oh s-s-SHIT!! Abbe k-k-kaun ... kya hai tu???
Then, what seems like a distant, but familiar voice is heard coming from behind.
It's me, babes.
On closer inspection, he sees none other than his good pal Karan Johar being hoisted up and down like a child's rattle by the serpents rear-end. To his horror he realizes that the python is nothing but Karan's chota bhai - a mammoth version of that very familiar appendage.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Abbe, yeh kya ... itna bada kaisa ho gaya?? K-k-kya kiya tu?
Kiya toh sab tune, bewakoof! Sapera kaun hai - main ya tu??
Lekin m-m-main toh sirf ... I was just ... Bubbly! ... P-P-Pepsi! ... laundiyan ke kapde uttarne ko-
Haan-haan, lekin itna jor se kyoon bajaya, nalayak! ... tune mere saanp ko bhi neend se utha diya!
K-K-Karan, please usko andar daal do, yaar ... bahut hi khatarnaak dikhta ha!!
Now there is only one way, babes - tumhe isko satisfy karna padenga!
S-S-SATISFY!! ... Pagal ho gaye ho kya? Isko satisfy kiya toh ek mahine ke liye utna-baitna mushkil ho jayenga ... p-p-please Karan, kuch toh karo yaar!!
By now our hero is so stricken by fear, he's gone and wet himself.
Hahahaha, kya baat hai! - peeta Pepsi aur chhodta Mountain Dew! Chalo theek hai babes, this time main isko andar daalta hoon - but say the magic words first.
D-D-Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge?
Abbe gaddhe, tu abhi kuch lene ki baat mat kar! Lene wala hoon sirf main - Teri!
Oh, Stop it Karan - please!! *howling uncontrollably*
Kya tu bhi bacche ke tarah ro raha hai - shame on you! .... Next time don't forget the magic words OK; everybody knows it. Come on, say it with me: "Kabhi Pussy - Kabhi Bum"
Anyway, I'm better now. Watched KBC-2 on tele last night with my folks and JC. She treated us to kathi-kababs and tandoori chicken, and even bought me a beer. She's a good girl; if only she weren't so damn lazy.
And yesterday was the first time I watched an entire episode of KBC this season. Great Indian Warrior Chief 'Big B' looking good as usual in his Reid & Taylor. Felt real bad for the guy from Chattisgarh who looked like he'd go far, but instead ended up wasting all his lifelines on one question. You know, a little common sense can go far in situations like these .... and being a pretty intelligent guy himself, I don't know how he thought the audience and then his friend would have the answer to a question that he did not have the slightest clue to. He should just have flipped the damn thing ... audience and friend are only for things you're not completely sure about. And frankly that was a very tough question - who the hell would know that Nepal is the only country in the world that has a national flag that is not square (there are square flags?) or rectangular in shape ... seems it's triangular or something! Always were bludy weird buggers, those Nepalese!
Anyway, I'm starting to sound like Merril now. Interesting blog that, btw - quite funny that someone should take the trouble to start a blog dedicated to Warrior Chief and his crorepati's ... just lakhpati's uptil now, anyway.
But Kajol and that Devgan fellow are set to win a crore tonight. I've always liked Kajol ... not as much as I love my Nandita of course. Are all Oriyya girls dark and dusky ('earthy' is the word Pompy once used) like Nandita? Maybe I should log on to shaadi.com and find out. I hear they now have a service that delivers marriage proposals straight to your inbox ... For millions of love-lorn buggers like me, downloading their mail must never have been quite as exciting!
But isn't it something of a mystery that these celebs are always winning big money on KBC?
***
And guess what I saw during the break on KBC yesterday? Yep, yett-another Shahrukh Khan ad - this one for shakkar-paani (aka Pepsi). Seems to me like the Indian advertising industry has decided to go where no one has gone before when it comes to "creativity". What I wouldn't give to be among the brilliant minds diligently at work at JWT (Pepsi's ad agency) .... Hell! I wouldn't mind being a fly outside one of their office windows just to catch a glimpse of pure genius in operation. And I hear those creative director chaps get paid big bucks - talk about having your cake and eating it! Sigh! If wishes were horses...
So this one has our hero in the role of a snake charmer. And as you've probably guessed by now, I just couldn't resist :)
SRK dressed in snake-charmer suit doing his stuff with whatever that flute-like thing is called. A bunch of Pepsi bottles sway rhythmically to his tune. Suddenly he hears a violent, hissing noise coming from the corridor outside. The next moment he is confronted by an angry 22-foot-long giant python, but this one is unlike any python he's seen before. It's head is, well - different!
Oh s-s-SHIT!! Abbe k-k-kaun ... kya hai tu???
Then, what seems like a distant, but familiar voice is heard coming from behind.
It's me, babes.
On closer inspection, he sees none other than his good pal Karan Johar being hoisted up and down like a child's rattle by the serpents rear-end. To his horror he realizes that the python is nothing but Karan's chota bhai - a mammoth version of that very familiar appendage.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Abbe, yeh kya ... itna bada kaisa ho gaya?? K-k-kya kiya tu?
Kiya toh sab tune, bewakoof! Sapera kaun hai - main ya tu??
Lekin m-m-main toh sirf ... I was just ... Bubbly! ... P-P-Pepsi! ... laundiyan ke kapde uttarne ko-
Haan-haan, lekin itna jor se kyoon bajaya, nalayak! ... tune mere saanp ko bhi neend se utha diya!
K-K-Karan, please usko andar daal do, yaar ... bahut hi khatarnaak dikhta ha!!
Now there is only one way, babes - tumhe isko satisfy karna padenga!
S-S-SATISFY!! ... Pagal ho gaye ho kya? Isko satisfy kiya toh ek mahine ke liye utna-baitna mushkil ho jayenga ... p-p-please Karan, kuch toh karo yaar!!
By now our hero is so stricken by fear, he's gone and wet himself.
Hahahaha, kya baat hai! - peeta Pepsi aur chhodta Mountain Dew! Chalo theek hai babes, this time main isko andar daalta hoon - but say the magic words first.
D-D-Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge?
Abbe gaddhe, tu abhi kuch lene ki baat mat kar! Lene wala hoon sirf main - Teri!
Oh, Stop it Karan - please!! *howling uncontrollably*
Kya tu bhi bacche ke tarah ro raha hai - shame on you! .... Next time don't forget the magic words OK; everybody knows it. Come on, say it with me: "Kabhi Pussy - Kabhi Bum"
September 13, 2005
Things I did today after a long, long time
-- ate Kolhapuri missal ... the bludy thing was dynamite! My innards are still making funny noises.
-- travelled by public transport. Saw a guy trying to feel-up some chicks' ass ... and actually found it funny. Yeah, I know - I'm a brute like the rest of them.
Aare behen, bus mein itna tight, chaddi-dikhane-wala jeans-pant mat pehna karo!
And waiting at the bus stop brought back memories of Avi (my very first colleague in my very first job) and the time I made the fellow run to catch a moving bus, not knowing he suffered from bludy asthma. After a brief sprint we made it into the bus, but by then he was gasping for breath and making very frightening wheezing noises, and everybody (including me) thought the guy was having a heart attack. The bus being packed to capacity, the conductor (last thing he wanted was someone kicking it in his bus) made me carry him out at the next stop ... but thank God for those asthma pumps - they're a lifesaver.
My thoughts were interrupted by an elderly man waiting next to me who picked up a conversation (why can't people just mind their own business?) and looked like he wanted to find out every damn thing there is to know about yours truly - even asking my age! Maybe he's got a daughter he wants to pack off in a hurry.
Anyhow, to my bad luck (as always!) he turned out to be some kind of evangelist and was mighty glad to learn I was Christian ... though the thought of pretending to be a maniac Shiv-Sainik did cross my mind. I hate bludy evangelists, and he seemed to guess I wasn't interested in anything he had to say, but he proceeded to tell me a story anyway. You gotta hand it to these guys - they never give up! One of these dudes could have done for Jesus the work of all 12 apostles
So this is the story: A guy goes to the Lord and says, "my cross is too damn heavy - please give me a lighter one". The Lord says, "sure, no problem," and then shows him to a room full of crosses and asks him to pick whichever he liked. The guy looks around and after finding all the other crosses way too big and heavy, picks up a tiny one lying near the doorway. "I'll take this one Lord, he says, mighty thrilled". The Lord looks at him and smiles. "My son, that was the one you brought with you
Kaisa bewakoof aadmi tha - khudh ka cross nahin pehchaan saka!
But I didn't say anything. Fortunately for me, I was saved from another story by the arrival of our bus. Standing precariously on the footboard was so much fun!
***
This blog had 182 (one hundred and eighty two!) visitors yesterday. What I'd like to know is: Who the hell are all these people? For a boring place like this, that's a hell of a lot I must say. And even if you take away the one's who came hoping to see little Sania Mirza's bazoomers, and the people I know, that leaves a lot of silent visitors.
And talking of Sania, I say the girl should forget about slogging it out on the tennis courts, and instead just do a center-spread for Playboy magazine, which I reckon should sell, what - 300 million copies in India alone? Playboy might even shift base to Hyderabad! She'll make Playmate of the Century for sure ... and the Sharapova's of this world will wonder what the hell they did wrong.
It seems her celebrity brand-rating has even surpassed that of our big cricketing heroes. Hmmm.... looks like the boys will now have think seriously about performing on the field rather than off it.
And I bet she could give many of our over-paid filmstars a run for their money too. Did you guys catch that Shahrukh Khan Lux soap ad on TV? I say they should have put bum-boy Karan Johar in that bathtub with him ... and targeted the homo's!
SRK and KJ together in bathtub with a bunch of lovely maidens fussing over them.
K-K-K-K-Karan, paani mein susu mat karo yaar, please - it's unhygienic! Tujhe pata hain na, bathtub mein swimming-pool jaisa filter nahin hain, phir bhu tu-
Oh, shut-up bitch! My pee is very clean OK ... I only drink mineral water, not like you - Devdas kahin ka! And what is there if you get a little dirty sometimes ... Main hoon na - tera LUX ;)
Interrupted by the maidens bending down to throw rose petals into the tub, our hero fails to notice that KJ has quietly disappeared underwater ... that is until he feels the barracuda biting the bait.
K-K-K-K-KARAN!!! Abbe kya kar rahe ho?? Stop it ok!! I told you Gauri doesn't like... Karan, not now, please! ... KARAN! Kar-aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Bas-turd!!
The barracuda emerges, joyfully nuzzling his face against our hero's smooth-silken chest.
Now wasn't that good babes :) ... Come on, say it with me: "Nothing-sux-like-LUX!"
-- ate Kolhapuri missal ... the bludy thing was dynamite! My innards are still making funny noises.
-- travelled by public transport. Saw a guy trying to feel-up some chicks' ass ... and actually found it funny. Yeah, I know - I'm a brute like the rest of them.
Aare behen, bus mein itna tight, chaddi-dikhane-wala jeans-pant mat pehna karo!
And waiting at the bus stop brought back memories of Avi (my very first colleague in my very first job) and the time I made the fellow run to catch a moving bus, not knowing he suffered from bludy asthma. After a brief sprint we made it into the bus, but by then he was gasping for breath and making very frightening wheezing noises, and everybody (including me) thought the guy was having a heart attack. The bus being packed to capacity, the conductor (last thing he wanted was someone kicking it in his bus) made me carry him out at the next stop ... but thank God for those asthma pumps - they're a lifesaver.
My thoughts were interrupted by an elderly man waiting next to me who picked up a conversation (why can't people just mind their own business?) and looked like he wanted to find out every damn thing there is to know about yours truly - even asking my age! Maybe he's got a daughter he wants to pack off in a hurry.
Anyhow, to my bad luck (as always!) he turned out to be some kind of evangelist and was mighty glad to learn I was Christian ... though the thought of pretending to be a maniac Shiv-Sainik did cross my mind. I hate bludy evangelists, and he seemed to guess I wasn't interested in anything he had to say, but he proceeded to tell me a story anyway. You gotta hand it to these guys - they never give up! One of these dudes could have done for Jesus the work of all 12 apostles
So this is the story: A guy goes to the Lord and says, "my cross is too damn heavy - please give me a lighter one". The Lord says, "sure, no problem," and then shows him to a room full of crosses and asks him to pick whichever he liked. The guy looks around and after finding all the other crosses way too big and heavy, picks up a tiny one lying near the doorway. "I'll take this one Lord, he says, mighty thrilled". The Lord looks at him and smiles. "My son, that was the one you brought with you
Kaisa bewakoof aadmi tha - khudh ka cross nahin pehchaan saka!
But I didn't say anything. Fortunately for me, I was saved from another story by the arrival of our bus. Standing precariously on the footboard was so much fun!
***
This blog had 182 (one hundred and eighty two!) visitors yesterday. What I'd like to know is: Who the hell are all these people? For a boring place like this, that's a hell of a lot I must say. And even if you take away the one's who came hoping to see little Sania Mirza's bazoomers, and the people I know, that leaves a lot of silent visitors.
And talking of Sania, I say the girl should forget about slogging it out on the tennis courts, and instead just do a center-spread for Playboy magazine, which I reckon should sell, what - 300 million copies in India alone? Playboy might even shift base to Hyderabad! She'll make Playmate of the Century for sure ... and the Sharapova's of this world will wonder what the hell they did wrong.
It seems her celebrity brand-rating has even surpassed that of our big cricketing heroes. Hmmm.... looks like the boys will now have think seriously about performing on the field rather than off it.
And I bet she could give many of our over-paid filmstars a run for their money too. Did you guys catch that Shahrukh Khan Lux soap ad on TV? I say they should have put bum-boy Karan Johar in that bathtub with him ... and targeted the homo's!
SRK and KJ together in bathtub with a bunch of lovely maidens fussing over them.
K-K-K-K-Karan, paani mein susu mat karo yaar, please - it's unhygienic! Tujhe pata hain na, bathtub mein swimming-pool jaisa filter nahin hain, phir bhu tu-
Oh, shut-up bitch! My pee is very clean OK ... I only drink mineral water, not like you - Devdas kahin ka! And what is there if you get a little dirty sometimes ... Main hoon na - tera LUX ;)
Interrupted by the maidens bending down to throw rose petals into the tub, our hero fails to notice that KJ has quietly disappeared underwater ... that is until he feels the barracuda biting the bait.
K-K-K-K-KARAN!!! Abbe kya kar rahe ho?? Stop it ok!! I told you Gauri doesn't like... Karan, not now, please! ... KARAN! Kar-aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Bas-turd!!
The barracuda emerges, joyfully nuzzling his face against our hero's smooth-silken chest.
Now wasn't that good babes :) ... Come on, say it with me: "Nothing-sux-like-LUX!"
September 1, 2005
For a change I thought it would be nice to talk in the adulterated version of the English language made popular by our TV channels, which is fast becoming the unofficial national language of the country.
Pope Benedict XVI ka kehna hai ki we Catholics should have more babies. Apparently he feels it is "for the good of society". And though he went on to say that "having children is a gift that brings life and well-being to society" we know all too well what his cleverly camouflaged message to his flock is -- "Outnumber them before they outnumber us, godammit!"
Well, mujhe lagta hai ki most Catholics would be only too happy to oblige His Holiness, but what about the extra kharcha, boss? Bills kaun pay karega? Idhar toh gaadi mein petrol bhar-bhar ke I've become fully kangaal, and now he wants us to have more children! No-no, nothing doing - the Vatican will have to take up the responsibility and support us financially.
And more children will not be possible without more wives, hai na? Hum expect kaise kar sakte hai ki one girl should go through the rigours of childbirth again and again ... poor things! they are not machines, you know. Nahin yaar, chaar-paanch biwiyan toh lagenge. And they should also throw in something like that Musalmann log ka Triple Talaq. Kya mazaa aayega boss! .... Don't mess with me darling or I'll talaq your ass outta here!
Hang on folks ... my buddy Aloysius Lobo (aka Ally, who still thinks he's Portugese ) wants to say something.
.... But seriously dude, doesn't he sound like Heini saying that??
Yeh Heini kaun hai bhai?
Aare, woh Nazi black-shirt walla, dude - Heinrich Himmler ... you didn't go to bleddy school or what? He was Hitler's chief of the Schutzstaffel - pyaar se they were known as the SS ... no connection to Shiv Sena. He was responsible for the massacre of over 5 million jews in those camps at Auschwitz, Dachau and Buchenwald ... aare, what a bugger he was, I tell you!
Haan haan, uss badmaash ka naam suna hai. Yeah I guess Once a Nazi, always a Nazi. Saala! Pope ko abhi "Heil Hitler" bolna padega!
Not Hitler, duffer - Ratzinger!
Yes, yes I know yaar ... "Pope Joseph Ratzinger" kitna accha sound karta hai na? ... ekdum Nazi General jaisa!
Aare but dude, my dame Sandra will kick my backside man, if I talk about having more than one wife .... these modern girls bhi na, they bleddy want every damn thing, and we buggers have to slog like kutta's. Even daaru they don't want us to drink ... cigarette piya toh they threaten to leave us only. I say the Vatican should issue a Pontifical Decree allowing, no-no in fact insisting on polygamy. Then see how their bleddy tails become straight!
But you know Ally bhai, I think ki this Pope is a very chalaak fellow yaar ... dekh na, if this more babies walla thing is implemented, we'll end up killing teen panchiyan with one patthar - three birds with one stone!
What bleddy three birds are you talking about dude? ... for me handling one chick only is such a big headache!
No-no, see: if he permits polygamy, women toh sab line main aa jayenge; we will be ekdum khush because jabhi chahe we can talaq them if they start to khau our brains; and, all the kharcha will be sambhalofied by the Church!
Wah Blues! you're a genius man bugger!
Yeah, yeah! Chal, I gotta go ... Millee serial ka time ho gaya. Tu Millee watch karta hai kya? Sahi main yaar, har aadmi ke paas aisa posh housemaid rehna mangta, what say?
Hey dude, I don't see all this Millee-Billee hindi crap .... You watched Sania's match or what yesterday? Aare, she showed that pasta-eater Maria whatshername what our bleddy hot Indian curry can do ... those balls were going to the bottomline like bleddy missiles, man ! Just see, woh semifinals mein definitely aa jayegi.
It's called baseline yaar, not bottomline!
Whatever dude! ... Chalo, catch you later man bugger. Heil Ratzinger!
*click of heels* Heil Ratzinger!
Pope Benedict XVI ka kehna hai ki we Catholics should have more babies. Apparently he feels it is "for the good of society". And though he went on to say that "having children is a gift that brings life and well-being to society" we know all too well what his cleverly camouflaged message to his flock is -- "Outnumber them before they outnumber us, godammit!"
Well, mujhe lagta hai ki most Catholics would be only too happy to oblige His Holiness, but what about the extra kharcha, boss? Bills kaun pay karega? Idhar toh gaadi mein petrol bhar-bhar ke I've become fully kangaal, and now he wants us to have more children! No-no, nothing doing - the Vatican will have to take up the responsibility and support us financially.
And more children will not be possible without more wives, hai na? Hum expect kaise kar sakte hai ki one girl should go through the rigours of childbirth again and again ... poor things! they are not machines, you know. Nahin yaar, chaar-paanch biwiyan toh lagenge. And they should also throw in something like that Musalmann log ka Triple Talaq. Kya mazaa aayega boss! .... Don't mess with me darling or I'll talaq your ass outta here!
Hang on folks ... my buddy Aloysius Lobo (aka Ally, who still thinks he's Portugese ) wants to say something.
.... But seriously dude, doesn't he sound like Heini saying that??
Yeh Heini kaun hai bhai?
Aare, woh Nazi black-shirt walla, dude - Heinrich Himmler ... you didn't go to bleddy school or what? He was Hitler's chief of the Schutzstaffel - pyaar se they were known as the SS ... no connection to Shiv Sena. He was responsible for the massacre of over 5 million jews in those camps at Auschwitz, Dachau and Buchenwald ... aare, what a bugger he was, I tell you!
Haan haan, uss badmaash ka naam suna hai. Yeah I guess Once a Nazi, always a Nazi. Saala! Pope ko abhi "Heil Hitler" bolna padega!
Not Hitler, duffer - Ratzinger!
Yes, yes I know yaar ... "Pope Joseph Ratzinger" kitna accha sound karta hai na? ... ekdum Nazi General jaisa!
Aare but dude, my dame Sandra will kick my backside man, if I talk about having more than one wife .... these modern girls bhi na, they bleddy want every damn thing, and we buggers have to slog like kutta's. Even daaru they don't want us to drink ... cigarette piya toh they threaten to leave us only. I say the Vatican should issue a Pontifical Decree allowing, no-no in fact insisting on polygamy. Then see how their bleddy tails become straight!
But you know Ally bhai, I think ki this Pope is a very chalaak fellow yaar ... dekh na, if this more babies walla thing is implemented, we'll end up killing teen panchiyan with one patthar - three birds with one stone!
What bleddy three birds are you talking about dude? ... for me handling one chick only is such a big headache!
No-no, see: if he permits polygamy, women toh sab line main aa jayenge; we will be ekdum khush because jabhi chahe we can talaq them if they start to khau our brains; and, all the kharcha will be sambhalofied by the Church!
Wah Blues! you're a genius man bugger!
Yeah, yeah! Chal, I gotta go ... Millee serial ka time ho gaya. Tu Millee watch karta hai kya? Sahi main yaar, har aadmi ke paas aisa posh housemaid rehna mangta, what say?
Hey dude, I don't see all this Millee-Billee hindi crap .... You watched Sania's match or what yesterday? Aare, she showed that pasta-eater Maria whatshername what our bleddy hot Indian curry can do ... those balls were going to the bottomline like bleddy missiles, man ! Just see, woh semifinals mein definitely aa jayegi.
It's called baseline yaar, not bottomline!
Whatever dude! ... Chalo, catch you later man bugger. Heil Ratzinger!
*click of heels* Heil Ratzinger!
August 31, 2005
Hurricane Katrina (such a sweet name for such a bad storm). The grim pictures on CNN probably tell us very little of the real effect it's had on people living in the states of Mississippi and Louisiana .... this time next year New Orleans will really be new.
And I bet our man Osama has currently shelved all his plans to wreck havoc on the infidels and their cities ... because nature has gone and done such a brilliant job for him.
***
Newspapers. I won't be surprised if very soon the only real use our newspapers will have is to replace the now banned plastic bag. I read two papers today - the first this morning was The Times of India. I know there will be always be days when they don't have any headline material, but I think it's crazy to have headlines that shout: "India beats China in arms race". It seems the lumbering elephant has overtaken the fleet-footed dragon in arms purchases - we shelled out 5.7 billion dollars on defence contracts in 2004 as compared to the 2.2 billion the Chinks spent, which, the article seems to suggest, is something we should all be proud of (consolation because we lag behind in every other department). Surely the guy who wrote this article must know that the only reason we spent so much is because we're having to replace all that worthless aging junk we've collected over the last couple of decades ... a problem the Chinese obviously do not have and hence are spending less. What I find really absurd is that somebody can actually proclaim we've won the arms race only because our expenditure in the previous year was higher! ... makes me wonder if the people who write these articles ever bother to read their own bludy newspapers.
I say if you don't have a headline story, splash a picture of Bipasha Basu in a string bikini ... that way your readers would at least get their moneys worth.
Then this afternoon the girl at the traffic intersection got me to buy a copy of today's Mid-Day. Now what can I say about Mid-Day ... once again, good substitute for the plastic bag. If you're the kind who needs to know how many times Shahrukh Khan farted yesterday, then Mid-Day is the paper for you.
Front page story talks about how the residents of the century old, dilapidated (and declared unsafe years back) buildings of Botawala Chawl in Mazagaon (Mumbai) refuse to go to makeshift government transit camps. They provide all sorts of reasons, but the real reason everybody knows: most of them are tenants paying ridiculously low rents and are scared that if they move they will lose whatever rights they have to those flats. Hence I say the authorities should just let them stay put ... let those buildings come crashing down and bury the buggers alive.
The Botawala's must be dancing with joy at the prospect of getting their property back ... because only in India will a court decide in favour of a tenant who refuses to vacate. That's how we lost our ancestral house in Goa.
But is this front-page news? Again, give us Bipasha.
***
That's it. I gotta watch Sania ... her tennis I mean. Hope I haven't missed it.
Y'know, it surprises me to see how many people land up at this here blog by doing a Google search for "Sania Mirza naked" and "Sania's boobs" ... she's just a child, for cryin' out loud!
Peace, love and weapons of mass distraction.
And I bet our man Osama has currently shelved all his plans to wreck havoc on the infidels and their cities ... because nature has gone and done such a brilliant job for him.
***
Newspapers. I won't be surprised if very soon the only real use our newspapers will have is to replace the now banned plastic bag. I read two papers today - the first this morning was The Times of India. I know there will be always be days when they don't have any headline material, but I think it's crazy to have headlines that shout: "India beats China in arms race". It seems the lumbering elephant has overtaken the fleet-footed dragon in arms purchases - we shelled out 5.7 billion dollars on defence contracts in 2004 as compared to the 2.2 billion the Chinks spent, which, the article seems to suggest, is something we should all be proud of (consolation because we lag behind in every other department). Surely the guy who wrote this article must know that the only reason we spent so much is because we're having to replace all that worthless aging junk we've collected over the last couple of decades ... a problem the Chinese obviously do not have and hence are spending less. What I find really absurd is that somebody can actually proclaim we've won the arms race only because our expenditure in the previous year was higher! ... makes me wonder if the people who write these articles ever bother to read their own bludy newspapers.
I say if you don't have a headline story, splash a picture of Bipasha Basu in a string bikini ... that way your readers would at least get their moneys worth.
Then this afternoon the girl at the traffic intersection got me to buy a copy of today's Mid-Day. Now what can I say about Mid-Day ... once again, good substitute for the plastic bag. If you're the kind who needs to know how many times Shahrukh Khan farted yesterday, then Mid-Day is the paper for you.
Front page story talks about how the residents of the century old, dilapidated (and declared unsafe years back) buildings of Botawala Chawl in Mazagaon (Mumbai) refuse to go to makeshift government transit camps. They provide all sorts of reasons, but the real reason everybody knows: most of them are tenants paying ridiculously low rents and are scared that if they move they will lose whatever rights they have to those flats. Hence I say the authorities should just let them stay put ... let those buildings come crashing down and bury the buggers alive.
The Botawala's must be dancing with joy at the prospect of getting their property back ... because only in India will a court decide in favour of a tenant who refuses to vacate. That's how we lost our ancestral house in Goa.
But is this front-page news? Again, give us Bipasha.
***
That's it. I gotta watch Sania ... her tennis I mean. Hope I haven't missed it.
Y'know, it surprises me to see how many people land up at this here blog by doing a Google search for "Sania Mirza naked" and "Sania's boobs" ... she's just a child, for cryin' out loud!
Peace, love and weapons of mass distraction.
August 30, 2005
August 24, 2005
Relax, said the nightman:
we are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
but you can never leave.
"I had just leased this house out on the beach at Malibu, I guess it was around '74 or '75. I remember sitting in the living room, with all the doors wide open on a spectacular July day. I had this acoustic 12-string and I started tinkling around with it, and those Hotel California chords just kind of oozed out.
Every once in a while it seems like the cosmos parts and something great just plops in your lap." -- Don Felder (The Eagles)
we are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
but you can never leave.
"I had just leased this house out on the beach at Malibu, I guess it was around '74 or '75. I remember sitting in the living room, with all the doors wide open on a spectacular July day. I had this acoustic 12-string and I started tinkling around with it, and those Hotel California chords just kind of oozed out.
Every once in a while it seems like the cosmos parts and something great just plops in your lap." -- Don Felder (The Eagles)
August 17, 2005
Y'know, I didn't see as many blaring loudspeakers by the roadsides this Independence Day as I did last year and the years before. Wonder why? One reason could be the fact that many of the hitherto lukha youth (who would go around collecting money for things like this) are putting their energies to better use in the call centers - many of which couldn't let their employees stay home to observe the anniversary of our nations independence. But I am told they get a holiday on the Fourth of July.
***
I'm having some trouble getting out of my head those graphic images shown on the news the other day of that Manipuri girl lying dead in a pool of blood in front of the Gateway of India after some lunatic slashed her throat. These are things we're expected to forget as quickly as they happen, and we would if it had happened in some village in Uttar Pradesh, but happening as it were, closer home, you can't help thinking that it could have been you, or one of yours, instead of that girl. And that's the scary part.
And I'm going to send an email to the news channels telling them that showing such scenes on prime-time news (where you have children watching) is highly irresponsible and serves no purpose whatsoever. Our newswalla's certainly appear to have forgotten where to draw the line.
I think it's important for people, women especially, living in a jungle like Mumbai where you have all sorts of unknown dangers lurking around, to take adequate measures to protect themselves. I've carry my keys on a Swiss Army Knife keychain and I can tell you, the damn thing is extremely handy (the knife especially). It has got me out of some very inconvenient situations, and I have no doubt it could even save my life if the need arose.
***
I will be going over to Dee's in just a bit (we've all been invited to dinner - I stayed back to do this blog post). Initial reports indicate she likes the guy. Allah, Jesus, Ram, Sita, Laxman be praised!
But she's liked guys before ... until they revealed themselves to be bludy madmen!. So we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed .... any more surprises and you might just see this in the headlines soon: "Sane woman butchers madman"
BFN. Hey Bun!
***
I'm having some trouble getting out of my head those graphic images shown on the news the other day of that Manipuri girl lying dead in a pool of blood in front of the Gateway of India after some lunatic slashed her throat. These are things we're expected to forget as quickly as they happen, and we would if it had happened in some village in Uttar Pradesh, but happening as it were, closer home, you can't help thinking that it could have been you, or one of yours, instead of that girl. And that's the scary part.
And I'm going to send an email to the news channels telling them that showing such scenes on prime-time news (where you have children watching) is highly irresponsible and serves no purpose whatsoever. Our newswalla's certainly appear to have forgotten where to draw the line.
I think it's important for people, women especially, living in a jungle like Mumbai where you have all sorts of unknown dangers lurking around, to take adequate measures to protect themselves. I've carry my keys on a Swiss Army Knife keychain and I can tell you, the damn thing is extremely handy (the knife especially). It has got me out of some very inconvenient situations, and I have no doubt it could even save my life if the need arose.
***
I will be going over to Dee's in just a bit (we've all been invited to dinner - I stayed back to do this blog post). Initial reports indicate she likes the guy. Allah, Jesus, Ram, Sita, Laxman be praised!
But she's liked guys before ... until they revealed themselves to be bludy madmen!. So we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed .... any more surprises and you might just see this in the headlines soon: "Sane woman butchers madman"
BFN. Hey Bun!
August 12, 2005
July 26, 2005
I'm thinking perhaps I didn't frame that question correctly. Or maybe the question is ok ... its just very difficult to answer.
In management school (I haven't been to one) they teach you that the first step towards finding a solution to any perceived problem is to correctly identify the problem. So when you don't quite know why a man behaves the way he does, how do you get him to change that behaviour?
If you ask me, I'd say its a man's general upbringing and the attitude towards women that exists within his own family/community (education would be a secondary influencing factor) that play a decisive role in shaping his behaviour and future relationships with the opposite sex.
In management school (I haven't been to one) they teach you that the first step towards finding a solution to any perceived problem is to correctly identify the problem. So when you don't quite know why a man behaves the way he does, how do you get him to change that behaviour?
If you ask me, I'd say its a man's general upbringing and the attitude towards women that exists within his own family/community (education would be a secondary influencing factor) that play a decisive role in shaping his behaviour and future relationships with the opposite sex.
July 19, 2005
It was when I tried to sing along with the national anthem that was played before the movie Parineeta that I realised I'd forgotten the words.
I beg to differ, however, with those of you who think that this is something I should be ashamed of. Because most (I reckon 8 out of 10) of the other people in the cinema hall didn't seem too interested either. In fact the girl next to me continued sipping her cola.
And quite frankly, I don't see what the issue is. If singing the anthem will help rid this country of even 0.1% of all its problems - hell, I'll sing it till my face (and everything else) turned blue!
I've said it before: I am proud to be Indian, but I am not the least bit proud of India.
And if others (like Meghna Naidu) are that eager to exhibit their patriotism, I'm sure there are better, more productive (and less convenient) ways than singing the national anthem before the next movie they watch.
***
PM Manmohan Singh's recent comments on how the British Raj benefitted our country were frowned upon by many. But after reading the editorial column in last Sunday's Times of India, I think he is absolutely right. Sure, they took their pound of flesh, but if it wasn't for what they left behind, we'd have been nothing but a bunch of savages (can you imagine the plight of women and the so-called lower castes?), and this nation would have been divided into God knows how many little lawless states .... countries like Rwanda and Angola would have had a higher GDP than ours.
And in spite of everything the British left us, we've still done a very fine job of pushing this country into a no-win situation.
How many of you are aware of the levels of corruption in our nation's Armed Forces? I've seen it first-hand and it filled me with revulsion. I tell you, those urchin kids who sell paper flags at traffic junctions on our national holidays are probably a hundred times more patriotic than many of our men in uniform.
Truth is, the country means nothing - to most people. If it did, you wouldn't find our brightest brains working at Redmond and Silicon Valley.
There's been so much talk about brain-drain, and I don't understand why. We have just one life to live (reincarnation, to me, is all humbug) and nobody has the right to prevent another from living it good.
Do I love this country? Not really. (though I'd like to)
... and if you say you do, then PROVE IT, GODDAMIT!
Peace, love, and a little less hypocrisy.
I beg to differ, however, with those of you who think that this is something I should be ashamed of. Because most (I reckon 8 out of 10) of the other people in the cinema hall didn't seem too interested either. In fact the girl next to me continued sipping her cola.
And quite frankly, I don't see what the issue is. If singing the anthem will help rid this country of even 0.1% of all its problems - hell, I'll sing it till my face (and everything else) turned blue!
I've said it before: I am proud to be Indian, but I am not the least bit proud of India.
And if others (like Meghna Naidu) are that eager to exhibit their patriotism, I'm sure there are better, more productive (and less convenient) ways than singing the national anthem before the next movie they watch.
***
PM Manmohan Singh's recent comments on how the British Raj benefitted our country were frowned upon by many. But after reading the editorial column in last Sunday's Times of India, I think he is absolutely right. Sure, they took their pound of flesh, but if it wasn't for what they left behind, we'd have been nothing but a bunch of savages (can you imagine the plight of women and the so-called lower castes?), and this nation would have been divided into God knows how many little lawless states .... countries like Rwanda and Angola would have had a higher GDP than ours.
And in spite of everything the British left us, we've still done a very fine job of pushing this country into a no-win situation.
How many of you are aware of the levels of corruption in our nation's Armed Forces? I've seen it first-hand and it filled me with revulsion. I tell you, those urchin kids who sell paper flags at traffic junctions on our national holidays are probably a hundred times more patriotic than many of our men in uniform.
Truth is, the country means nothing - to most people. If it did, you wouldn't find our brightest brains working at Redmond and Silicon Valley.
There's been so much talk about brain-drain, and I don't understand why. We have just one life to live (reincarnation, to me, is all humbug) and nobody has the right to prevent another from living it good.
Do I love this country? Not really. (though I'd like to)
... and if you say you do, then PROVE IT, GODDAMIT!
Peace, love, and a little less hypocrisy.
July 2, 2005
The gentleman who is conducting this course I'm attending is a graduate from IIM Ahmedabad. He has kind of taken to me and vice-versa. I guess that's because all the others (all future Chartered Accountants) are a bunch of bludy duffers. And it's not that I'm a big genius or anything; but anybody interacting with them will tell you they're absolutely atrocious ... how they pass the exams is something which could be featured on Ripleys - Believe it or Not!
Anyway, today he got talking about Management & Superstitions (it is a 2 week course on management and communication skills ... because the Institute of CA's very recently realized that many of its members cannot draft their own résumé's). And during his talk he said something that quite shocked his audience, and woke me from my sleep.
"We Hindu's," he says, "have for thousands of years, been mistaking mythology for religion"
In his opinion, a lot of what is considered part of the Hindu religion is nothing but a bunch of tales thought up by some very enthusiastic writers in times gone by. He believes that people like Ram and Sita and Rawan never existed; it's all just make-believe. And the confusion arose because the chaps who wrote these stories used the names of real places... like Ayodha, for example.
And he says most Hindu's don't even know the reason why they do certain things. "For example," he says, "did you know that the breaking of a coconut is taken to symbolize the splitting of a human skull? ... and the water that spills from the core symbolizes blood?"
Others in the audience (mostly Hindu) just sat there with an expression of disbelief. I, on the other hand, was most intrigued by these revelations. So I said to him, "are you really telling us that millions of Hindu's the world over believe in things some storyteller just made up??"
"Yes, he says. That's precisely what I'm telling you."
The first thing that came to my mind was: What a monstrous bludy scam!
".... and other religions are no better," he went on to add. "There are lots of things in the Bible too, that don't quite add-up."
***
I think Suzannah said it very beautifully in her post the other day. It seems Karl Marx once referred to religion as the opium of the masses. And interestingly enough, in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, every single person is hooked on to an intoxicant called Soma (the daily ration of which is supplied by the State). It is what helps them discard those negative, undesirable thoughts/feelings and lets them be happy all the time.
You know, I've always wondered why we Catholics are taught that if you don't do everything by the book, you will surely burn in hell; and if you do happen to do everything right and something terrible still befalls you, then it is simply God's way of testing your faith!
In other words: you just do what is required, and be willing to accept any outcome that the Almighty might deem fit to serve on you. (Talk about a raw deal!)
I was thinking about these things in Church today. And then it struck me: If I am getting such a raw, shitty deal, why the hell am I here ... sitting in this pew? Nobody's holding a gun to my head and making me - so why am I here?
And the answer came as quick. I am here because I have nowhere else to go.
It's like Suzannah says "To reach for an invisible higher power, call him what you will, does make life easier. And maybe, in some ways, it is tearing the world apart, maybe it is the cause for a lot of the external turmoil in the world, but it may very well be the solution to the turmoil within us… or something like that!"
Religion, myth, half-truths - who cares what it really is? As long as it serves the purpose. Our purpose.
And wouldn't you agree that many of us treat love in much the same way?
Anyway, today he got talking about Management & Superstitions (it is a 2 week course on management and communication skills ... because the Institute of CA's very recently realized that many of its members cannot draft their own résumé's). And during his talk he said something that quite shocked his audience, and woke me from my sleep.
"We Hindu's," he says, "have for thousands of years, been mistaking mythology for religion"
In his opinion, a lot of what is considered part of the Hindu religion is nothing but a bunch of tales thought up by some very enthusiastic writers in times gone by. He believes that people like Ram and Sita and Rawan never existed; it's all just make-believe. And the confusion arose because the chaps who wrote these stories used the names of real places... like Ayodha, for example.
And he says most Hindu's don't even know the reason why they do certain things. "For example," he says, "did you know that the breaking of a coconut is taken to symbolize the splitting of a human skull? ... and the water that spills from the core symbolizes blood?"
Others in the audience (mostly Hindu) just sat there with an expression of disbelief. I, on the other hand, was most intrigued by these revelations. So I said to him, "are you really telling us that millions of Hindu's the world over believe in things some storyteller just made up??"
"Yes, he says. That's precisely what I'm telling you."
The first thing that came to my mind was: What a monstrous bludy scam!
".... and other religions are no better," he went on to add. "There are lots of things in the Bible too, that don't quite add-up."
***
I think Suzannah said it very beautifully in her post the other day. It seems Karl Marx once referred to religion as the opium of the masses. And interestingly enough, in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, every single person is hooked on to an intoxicant called Soma (the daily ration of which is supplied by the State). It is what helps them discard those negative, undesirable thoughts/feelings and lets them be happy all the time.
You know, I've always wondered why we Catholics are taught that if you don't do everything by the book, you will surely burn in hell; and if you do happen to do everything right and something terrible still befalls you, then it is simply God's way of testing your faith!
In other words: you just do what is required, and be willing to accept any outcome that the Almighty might deem fit to serve on you. (Talk about a raw deal!)
I was thinking about these things in Church today. And then it struck me: If I am getting such a raw, shitty deal, why the hell am I here ... sitting in this pew? Nobody's holding a gun to my head and making me - so why am I here?
And the answer came as quick. I am here because I have nowhere else to go.
It's like Suzannah says "To reach for an invisible higher power, call him what you will, does make life easier. And maybe, in some ways, it is tearing the world apart, maybe it is the cause for a lot of the external turmoil in the world, but it may very well be the solution to the turmoil within us… or something like that!"
Religion, myth, half-truths - who cares what it really is? As long as it serves the purpose. Our purpose.
And wouldn't you agree that many of us treat love in much the same way?
Hug me till you drug me, honey;
Kiss me till I'm in a coma;
Hug me, honey, snuggly bunny;
Love's as good as Soma.
Peace, love, and the Emperor's new clothes.
June 26, 2005
I've begun to hate the fact that I think so much. Manu was right -- while most people enjoy the ride, I prefer to sit and count the potholes.
I was standing outside church yesterday evening (while mass was going on inside). Next to me was this man and his two little daughters who were running around merrily. And I thought to myself: I wouldn't want to be the father of those beautiful little girls. What a horrible world I would be introducing them to ... it would be like taking a rose and throwing it into a gutter.
A question I ask myself very often -- is it too late to change things in this country? We Indians put up with so much; such a tolerant race we've become ... and we continue to carry our cross as though it was something we were predestined to do.
The shopping malls, the multiplexes, the pubs - that's not where our country is. I see our country in the face of the beggar-girl standing outside the entrance to Shoppers Stop looking through the glass at a world that must make no sense to her. Just as her world seems so distant from ours.
The more pertinent question -- whose world will prevail in the end? Will we get rid of them or will it be the other way around?
We are clearly out-numbered. So how much longer before they get us?
***
I've been hearing a lot about the rehabilitation of Mumbai's slum-dwellers. Nowhere is the overwhelming disparity between the haves and the have-not's more evident than in the city of Mumbai. (I haven't been to Calcutta, but they say its quite bad there too).
Poverty coupled with illiteracy is like a cancer that eats away at society - for which there is no cure; and treatment usually proves futile. The only solution is to take out those unwanted elements.
Adolf Hitler - he will always be remembered as a madman who perpetrated horrendous acts of evil in pursuit of an end, that to him was his idea of the perfect world.
Y'know, I've always wondered why Hitler never considered deporting the Jew's to some inhospitable region of the planet like Greenland or Antarctica? Why did he insist they be exterminated like vermin? Deportation would have been so much more convenient.
Was he really a madman ... or was he a genius who somehow did nothing right?
So, what then is my idea of the perfect world? Just like Huxley's Brave New World, I'd like it to be one where everybody is happy. But, as Huxley tells us, there is a cost attached to everything; a price to pay. And history has shown that the price of a perfect world is just too high.
***
I've always loved being close to nature ... high up on some mountain, or alone on a deserted beach. I remember how I felt sitting on a rock near the cliffs edge at Fort Aguada. Free - that's how I felt. Nothing else mattered.
But come back down to reality, and everything else matters.
They say if you don't like what you see, shut your eyes - shut your eyes and enjoy the ride as best you can. And that is exactly what so many of us today are doing.
Only problem with that, though, is: You have no idea where you're headed.
***
Said the Eye one day, "I see beyond these valleys a mountain veiled with blue mist. Is it not beautiful?"
The Ear listened, and after listening intently a while, said, "But where is any mountain? I do not hear it."
Then the Hand spoke and said, "I am trying in vain to feel it or touch it, and I can find no mountain."
And the Nose said, "There is no mountain, I cannot smell it."
Then the Eye turned the other way, and they all began to talk together about the Eye's strange delusion. And they said, "Something must be the matter with the Eye."
from: The Madman by Kahlil Gibran
I was standing outside church yesterday evening (while mass was going on inside). Next to me was this man and his two little daughters who were running around merrily. And I thought to myself: I wouldn't want to be the father of those beautiful little girls. What a horrible world I would be introducing them to ... it would be like taking a rose and throwing it into a gutter.
A question I ask myself very often -- is it too late to change things in this country? We Indians put up with so much; such a tolerant race we've become ... and we continue to carry our cross as though it was something we were predestined to do.
The shopping malls, the multiplexes, the pubs - that's not where our country is. I see our country in the face of the beggar-girl standing outside the entrance to Shoppers Stop looking through the glass at a world that must make no sense to her. Just as her world seems so distant from ours.
The more pertinent question -- whose world will prevail in the end? Will we get rid of them or will it be the other way around?
We are clearly out-numbered. So how much longer before they get us?
***
I've been hearing a lot about the rehabilitation of Mumbai's slum-dwellers. Nowhere is the overwhelming disparity between the haves and the have-not's more evident than in the city of Mumbai. (I haven't been to Calcutta, but they say its quite bad there too).
Poverty coupled with illiteracy is like a cancer that eats away at society - for which there is no cure; and treatment usually proves futile. The only solution is to take out those unwanted elements.
Adolf Hitler - he will always be remembered as a madman who perpetrated horrendous acts of evil in pursuit of an end, that to him was his idea of the perfect world.
Y'know, I've always wondered why Hitler never considered deporting the Jew's to some inhospitable region of the planet like Greenland or Antarctica? Why did he insist they be exterminated like vermin? Deportation would have been so much more convenient.
Was he really a madman ... or was he a genius who somehow did nothing right?
So, what then is my idea of the perfect world? Just like Huxley's Brave New World, I'd like it to be one where everybody is happy. But, as Huxley tells us, there is a cost attached to everything; a price to pay. And history has shown that the price of a perfect world is just too high.
***
I've always loved being close to nature ... high up on some mountain, or alone on a deserted beach. I remember how I felt sitting on a rock near the cliffs edge at Fort Aguada. Free - that's how I felt. Nothing else mattered.
But come back down to reality, and everything else matters.
They say if you don't like what you see, shut your eyes - shut your eyes and enjoy the ride as best you can. And that is exactly what so many of us today are doing.
Only problem with that, though, is: You have no idea where you're headed.
***
Said the Eye one day, "I see beyond these valleys a mountain veiled with blue mist. Is it not beautiful?"
The Ear listened, and after listening intently a while, said, "But where is any mountain? I do not hear it."
Then the Hand spoke and said, "I am trying in vain to feel it or touch it, and I can find no mountain."
And the Nose said, "There is no mountain, I cannot smell it."
Then the Eye turned the other way, and they all began to talk together about the Eye's strange delusion. And they said, "Something must be the matter with the Eye."
from: The Madman by Kahlil Gibran
June 16, 2005
It seems the Union Cabinet has okayed 26% FII/FDI investment in the print media and TV news channels. It has also okayed fascimile editions of foreign newspapers. However, Indian editions of foreign newspapers will not be permitted. (why the hell not?)
So does this mean we'll get to read such fine, respected publications as The Sun? I remember sneaking off to the foreign newspaper section in the supermarkets in Bahrain just to have a quick peek ... on Page 3 would be some blonde bombshell called Mandy baring it all. Now that's the real page 3, not the kind you have in the papers here - where you get to see bludy Shahrukh Khan's mug.
Wot to do yaar ... shex shells, no?
Imagine - just imagine how many newspapers you'd sell if someone like, say, Mallika Sherawat posed in her birthday suit on page 3? Christ Almighty! All hell would break loose. US spy satellites may even pick up major disturbances coming from the Indian subcontinent.
"Goddamit Condy! Are those dayyumm'ed Indians testing another missile?"
"We're not quite sure what it is, Mr. President - we're receiving confusing information ... all we know is that in the past one hour there've been over 300 million minor explosions of some sort all across the country"
Y'know, I watched her movie Murder on cable the other day, and I have to say Mallika Sherawat ain't that awful an actress ... too bad the story was crap. Given a better script, I'm sure audiences will get to see her in top gear.
***
And talking of shex, it seems two Mumbai BPO employees were caught on hidden camera making out in their office cubicle (full on, man!). Now that's what happens when you have very costly ergonomically designed super-comfy office chairs ... beats the pants off any Curl-On mattress anyday!
But BPO employees should object to hidden cameras being placed in their offices. They work so damn hard, putting in odd hours and all that ... what's wrong in having a quick romp once in a while?
So does this mean we'll get to read such fine, respected publications as The Sun? I remember sneaking off to the foreign newspaper section in the supermarkets in Bahrain just to have a quick peek ... on Page 3 would be some blonde bombshell called Mandy baring it all. Now that's the real page 3, not the kind you have in the papers here - where you get to see bludy Shahrukh Khan's mug.
Wot to do yaar ... shex shells, no?
Imagine - just imagine how many newspapers you'd sell if someone like, say, Mallika Sherawat posed in her birthday suit on page 3? Christ Almighty! All hell would break loose. US spy satellites may even pick up major disturbances coming from the Indian subcontinent.
"Goddamit Condy! Are those dayyumm'ed Indians testing another missile?"
"We're not quite sure what it is, Mr. President - we're receiving confusing information ... all we know is that in the past one hour there've been over 300 million minor explosions of some sort all across the country"
Y'know, I watched her movie Murder on cable the other day, and I have to say Mallika Sherawat ain't that awful an actress ... too bad the story was crap. Given a better script, I'm sure audiences will get to see her in top gear.
***
And talking of shex, it seems two Mumbai BPO employees were caught on hidden camera making out in their office cubicle (full on, man!). Now that's what happens when you have very costly ergonomically designed super-comfy office chairs ... beats the pants off any Curl-On mattress anyday!
But BPO employees should object to hidden cameras being placed in their offices. They work so damn hard, putting in odd hours and all that ... what's wrong in having a quick romp once in a while?
May 16, 2005
April 14, 2005
and so we play this game called life
no spectators, only players
you and me
all of us
as with every game
if the losers don't play
the winners won't win
but sooner or later
the champion will falter
and the underdog
will have his day
but the game is still lost
for its only really won
when you don't have to play anymore
April 6, 2005
March 31, 2005
March 15, 2005
The Shakti Kapoor story is getting spicier. Like any villain worth his salt, he won't go down alone. Now he's spilling the beans on Subhashji and Yashji, and is talking about the special "grooming" that Preity and Rani recieved ... which of course is why they have become such highly acclaimed actresses.
But you know, reading about this in the papers today, a thought struck me: Women will always be exploited - they have been since the beginning of time, and they will be for a very long time to come. And nothing can change that.
On that thought I happened to remember the Omar Khayam Hotel in Manama, Bahrain. Our school bus-stop was just a few meters away from the hotel's main entrance. It was one of those 2-star places - shady joint; but their food was fantastic ... mostly all Goan chefs. My friend Cliffy's dad was a chef there ... actually we were sure he was just a steward, but Cliffy always insisted he was a chef. Anyway, after the completion of the Bahrain-Saudi causeway, we used to get hoards of Saudis - highly desperate Saudis I should say - coming to Bahrain (Bahrain is an island in the Middle East, btw) on weekends for booze and sex. And the Omar Khayam offered it all - at reasonable rates. On Thursday evenings after the bus had dropped us off, we would usually hang around there for a bit - just passing time - and we would see the Saudi's drive up in their Buick's and Cadillac's; and they would bring the girls with them. It was not uncommon to see a car pull up with 4 or 5 beastly looking buggers and one puny little Filipino girl sitting inside ('group discount' we called it). Many of the girls looked just a little older than us, and on their faces you could see that look of ... well, it was a mixture of fear, desperation and helplessness.
We felt sorry for them. They probably had an entire family back in Manila depending on their earnings, and so they had no other alternative. And we could only imagine what those Saudi's must have been doing to them ... those guys are animals, I tell you.
Truth is: when people don't have a choice, they offer themselves up for exploitation. And there will always be someone happy and willing to oblige.
I think it's a little different with the Indian film industry though ... here you find both parties happy and willing.
.... and they say the casting couch exists for men too. No wonder you have so many John's and Dino's and Milind's suddenly becoming actors.
But instead of targeting poor Shakti, I think the television channels should go after the big boys - the so-called respected, distinguished members of the industry.
.... yeah, I don't think it should be too hard to spot Karan Johar getting it on with ... Shahrukh Khan?
K K K K Karan... thoda dheere se please. Kal subah mujhe shooting pe jaana hai :(
Abey chup bait saaley!! hamesha rota rehta hai .... Kaun jaane? kal ho na ho!
But you know, reading about this in the papers today, a thought struck me: Women will always be exploited - they have been since the beginning of time, and they will be for a very long time to come. And nothing can change that.
On that thought I happened to remember the Omar Khayam Hotel in Manama, Bahrain. Our school bus-stop was just a few meters away from the hotel's main entrance. It was one of those 2-star places - shady joint; but their food was fantastic ... mostly all Goan chefs. My friend Cliffy's dad was a chef there ... actually we were sure he was just a steward, but Cliffy always insisted he was a chef. Anyway, after the completion of the Bahrain-Saudi causeway, we used to get hoards of Saudis - highly desperate Saudis I should say - coming to Bahrain (Bahrain is an island in the Middle East, btw) on weekends for booze and sex. And the Omar Khayam offered it all - at reasonable rates. On Thursday evenings after the bus had dropped us off, we would usually hang around there for a bit - just passing time - and we would see the Saudi's drive up in their Buick's and Cadillac's; and they would bring the girls with them. It was not uncommon to see a car pull up with 4 or 5 beastly looking buggers and one puny little Filipino girl sitting inside ('group discount' we called it). Many of the girls looked just a little older than us, and on their faces you could see that look of ... well, it was a mixture of fear, desperation and helplessness.
We felt sorry for them. They probably had an entire family back in Manila depending on their earnings, and so they had no other alternative. And we could only imagine what those Saudi's must have been doing to them ... those guys are animals, I tell you.
Truth is: when people don't have a choice, they offer themselves up for exploitation. And there will always be someone happy and willing to oblige.
I think it's a little different with the Indian film industry though ... here you find both parties happy and willing.
.... and they say the casting couch exists for men too. No wonder you have so many John's and Dino's and Milind's suddenly becoming actors.
But instead of targeting poor Shakti, I think the television channels should go after the big boys - the so-called respected, distinguished members of the industry.
.... yeah, I don't think it should be too hard to spot Karan Johar getting it on with ... Shahrukh Khan?
K K K K Karan... thoda dheere se please. Kal subah mujhe shooting pe jaana hai :(
Abey chup bait saaley!! hamesha rota rehta hai .... Kaun jaane? kal ho na ho!
March 5, 2005
March 3, 2005
You know, when life has given you a hard time every step of the way, you often end up living in a state of constant paranoia.
Whenever anything good starts to happen, you instinctively dismiss it as something temporary. It becomes an accepted fact of your life that nothing good can ever possibly happen to you.
How do you change that? How do you get someone to smell the roses instead of standing back and looking at them from a distance, only because they know for a fact that the roses will wither away in a few days time?
Please tell me because there is this friend of mine who really needs to know.
Whenever anything good starts to happen, you instinctively dismiss it as something temporary. It becomes an accepted fact of your life that nothing good can ever possibly happen to you.
How do you change that? How do you get someone to smell the roses instead of standing back and looking at them from a distance, only because they know for a fact that the roses will wither away in a few days time?
Please tell me because there is this friend of mine who really needs to know.
February 25, 2005
I often read blog posts by women who talk about how they just can't seem to find the right man .... He should be like this, and like that, and what have you.
Dee made the same mistake. The fact that she has the looks of a fashion model (and presumably the brains to go with it) somehow led her to believe she'd have little trouble finding Mr. Right. But her experiences have taught her otherwise ... Mr. Right has turned out to be even more elusive than good ol' Osama!
She once asked me: "why aren't there any guys like you out there?"
And I said to her: If I were just some stranger you happened to meet at a party, would you fall in love with me?
She just smiled ... she got my meaning.
True love isn't about finding the perfect person; it's about finding perfection in an imperfect person.
Your prefect man, your prince charming ... he exists only in your head. And even if he does happen to be out there somewhere just waiting to be found (it is highly unlikely that he is waiting to find you), locating him will be like looking for a needle in a haystack. And you know what is the easiest way to find a needle in a haystack? -- Setting the hay on fire and then sifting through the ashes.
If you succeed, good for you. But what if you discover that there never was any needle there in the first place? .... I'd say you could do a lot more with the hay than with the ashes.
Dee made the same mistake. The fact that she has the looks of a fashion model (and presumably the brains to go with it) somehow led her to believe she'd have little trouble finding Mr. Right. But her experiences have taught her otherwise ... Mr. Right has turned out to be even more elusive than good ol' Osama!
She once asked me: "why aren't there any guys like you out there?"
And I said to her: If I were just some stranger you happened to meet at a party, would you fall in love with me?
She just smiled ... she got my meaning.
True love isn't about finding the perfect person; it's about finding perfection in an imperfect person.
Your prefect man, your prince charming ... he exists only in your head. And even if he does happen to be out there somewhere just waiting to be found (it is highly unlikely that he is waiting to find you), locating him will be like looking for a needle in a haystack. And you know what is the easiest way to find a needle in a haystack? -- Setting the hay on fire and then sifting through the ashes.
If you succeed, good for you. But what if you discover that there never was any needle there in the first place? .... I'd say you could do a lot more with the hay than with the ashes.
February 23, 2005
You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen, -- the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives, -- I ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, "Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves."
Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.
And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, "He is a madman." I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, "Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks."
Thus I became a madman.
And I have found both freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.
But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a thief in a jail is safe from another thief.
From: The Madman by Kahlil Gibran
Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.
And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, "He is a madman." I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, "Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks."
Thus I became a madman.
And I have found both freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.
But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a thief in a jail is safe from another thief.
From: The Madman by Kahlil Gibran
February 22, 2005
I've been going to gym regularly for the past couple of weeks. I feel strong again. I find my mind works better when I'm in good physical shape; I don't worry about things as much ... and that's because there is this sense of power, which somehow makes me believe that I can handle anything the world throws at me. It feels good to be in control .... even if the feeling is only an illusion.
The guy who was living in the ground-floor flat of our building died late Sunday night. I came to know only today. He lived alone .... and died alone - massive heart attack. He used to leave his door open sometimes .... I could see the place was filthy. He was just 32.
He looked like someone who had given up on life. Unemployed, and with nothing else to do, he would spend his time tending to the plants in the yard behind. I was filled with a terrible feeling of regret when I got the news this morning. For the past month or so, I had been meaning to go down and say hello to him.
I guess he went quietly; without a fight.
***
When we were kids, most of our time was spent getting into fights and destroying whatever took our fancy. If I tell you of some of the things we did, you'd be horrified (and if you're an animal lover, you might want to kill me). Truth is, every damn thing we did had that destructive element to it; nobody ever cared to listen to our problems and show us another way. Fight your own battles was always the answer we got.
But there comes a time when you get tired of fighting .... when you will find yourself turning the other cheek. But you know what: there's nothing like knowing you could return a knock-out punch if the need arose.
Peace, love, and another round with the devil.
The guy who was living in the ground-floor flat of our building died late Sunday night. I came to know only today. He lived alone .... and died alone - massive heart attack. He used to leave his door open sometimes .... I could see the place was filthy. He was just 32.
He looked like someone who had given up on life. Unemployed, and with nothing else to do, he would spend his time tending to the plants in the yard behind. I was filled with a terrible feeling of regret when I got the news this morning. For the past month or so, I had been meaning to go down and say hello to him.
I guess he went quietly; without a fight.
***
When we were kids, most of our time was spent getting into fights and destroying whatever took our fancy. If I tell you of some of the things we did, you'd be horrified (and if you're an animal lover, you might want to kill me). Truth is, every damn thing we did had that destructive element to it; nobody ever cared to listen to our problems and show us another way. Fight your own battles was always the answer we got.
But there comes a time when you get tired of fighting .... when you will find yourself turning the other cheek. But you know what: there's nothing like knowing you could return a knock-out punch if the need arose.
Peace, love, and another round with the devil.
February 17, 2005
Just got back from the library. As always I found myself sitting on those big stone steps and looking at the road in front, where the flow of people and traffic never ceases. Vivian, my buddy, was happy to see me. "I miss your company these days," he says. Yeah, I'll start coming here more often, I said.
I look at the people ... old, young, beautiful, ugly, fat, thin; I pick up words from their chatter ... some appear wise, others not so. I see a big group of college girls - so full of life ... all wearing those hipsters and short tops which leave that little wobble of flesh exposed around the waist ... what a drab world it would be without them.
And then I realised something: when I look at all these people passing by, I tend to get this feeling that I am one up on them ...know what I mean? I feel I am wiser and actually know something they don't; and in a way it gives me an odd sense of satisfaction. Now why is that ... can anybody tell me? Because I haven't a clue ... and I sure as hell don't have any real reason to feel that way. But yet I do.
... funny how the mind works, no?
As for Dee, I hope she can pick up the pieces and start over. It won't be easy but she doesn't really have a choice.
.... well, she can choose not to and go mad in the process. Like me.
I am bludy mad, you know ... mad mad mad!
Peace, love, and regular doses of sanity.
I look at the people ... old, young, beautiful, ugly, fat, thin; I pick up words from their chatter ... some appear wise, others not so. I see a big group of college girls - so full of life ... all wearing those hipsters and short tops which leave that little wobble of flesh exposed around the waist ... what a drab world it would be without them.
And then I realised something: when I look at all these people passing by, I tend to get this feeling that I am one up on them ...know what I mean? I feel I am wiser and actually know something they don't; and in a way it gives me an odd sense of satisfaction. Now why is that ... can anybody tell me? Because I haven't a clue ... and I sure as hell don't have any real reason to feel that way. But yet I do.
... funny how the mind works, no?
As for Dee, I hope she can pick up the pieces and start over. It won't be easy but she doesn't really have a choice.
.... well, she can choose not to and go mad in the process. Like me.
I am bludy mad, you know ... mad mad mad!
Peace, love, and regular doses of sanity.
February 15, 2005
Just saw some horrific pictures on CNN of scenes of destruction in Beirut. If the target was just one man (the former PM), then why did whoever was responsible feel the need to blow up an entire block and kill all those innocent people in the process? Like so many other things in our world today, it just doesn't make sense.
In Iraq, the Shia's are reported to have got a majority in the recently concluded elections - I imagine Bush & Co. must be most perturbed. So what will he do now - occupy the entire Arab world? I bet he'd love to.
It wouldn't surprise one bit if the Middle East ends up being the cause of Americas eventual downfall (I won't use the word destruction just yet). Giants have been brought down in the past, and there's no saying it won't happen again.
As for the innocents who have to bear the brunt, they can only hope tomorrow will be better than today - that is, if there is indeed a tomorrow for them. It isn't the survival of the fittest any more - its the survival of the luckiest.
You know it's funny - here we fill our heads with worry thinking about the myriad problems we have in our lives, and out there you have so many millions of people who would be happy just to be alive 24 hours from now ..... makes you want to count your blessings, doesn't it?
Peace, love, and a wider field of vision.
In Iraq, the Shia's are reported to have got a majority in the recently concluded elections - I imagine Bush & Co. must be most perturbed. So what will he do now - occupy the entire Arab world? I bet he'd love to.
It wouldn't surprise one bit if the Middle East ends up being the cause of Americas eventual downfall (I won't use the word destruction just yet). Giants have been brought down in the past, and there's no saying it won't happen again.
As for the innocents who have to bear the brunt, they can only hope tomorrow will be better than today - that is, if there is indeed a tomorrow for them. It isn't the survival of the fittest any more - its the survival of the luckiest.
You know it's funny - here we fill our heads with worry thinking about the myriad problems we have in our lives, and out there you have so many millions of people who would be happy just to be alive 24 hours from now ..... makes you want to count your blessings, doesn't it?
Peace, love, and a wider field of vision.
January 31, 2005
The wedding was a complete fiasco. It was a scene straight out of that Guns N' Roses 'November Rain' music video.
They made the mistake of holding the reception on an open lawn. And even though light showers had been forecast nobody really expected it to rain. Boy were they wrong! It started with a drizzle while we were going to have dinner, and progressed into a downpour by the time we were finished. Apart from a couple of small trees, there was not a single place where people could take shelter. Pandemonium - that's what it was!
So everybody from the bride and groom to yours truly was soaked to the bludy skin. I could tell that most of the invitees just wanted to hand over their gifts and run; but they obviously didn't want to offend their hosts, so they stayed and got wet. Mel seemed to be enjoying all the confusion. "...This is fun SwB. We should have brought some booze and ciggies!!" Many of the women ended up looking like Shilpa Shirodhkar in a wet scene from one those B-grade Hindi movies.
I have never witnessed a total washout before ... felt really bad for the newly weds - their big day ruined. Only consolation is that the food was excellent. Lesson learnt: always have your wedding reception indoors ... even in February!
But what's going on with the weather these days? The scientists have been warning us not to mess with Mother Nature, but we haven't been listening. I'd say this is just the beginning.
O.K. Just heard on NDTV News that Martina Hingis has decided to come out of retirement :)
BFN.
They made the mistake of holding the reception on an open lawn. And even though light showers had been forecast nobody really expected it to rain. Boy were they wrong! It started with a drizzle while we were going to have dinner, and progressed into a downpour by the time we were finished. Apart from a couple of small trees, there was not a single place where people could take shelter. Pandemonium - that's what it was!
So everybody from the bride and groom to yours truly was soaked to the bludy skin. I could tell that most of the invitees just wanted to hand over their gifts and run; but they obviously didn't want to offend their hosts, so they stayed and got wet. Mel seemed to be enjoying all the confusion. "...This is fun SwB. We should have brought some booze and ciggies!!" Many of the women ended up looking like Shilpa Shirodhkar in a wet scene from one those B-grade Hindi movies.
I have never witnessed a total washout before ... felt really bad for the newly weds - their big day ruined. Only consolation is that the food was excellent. Lesson learnt: always have your wedding reception indoors ... even in February!
But what's going on with the weather these days? The scientists have been warning us not to mess with Mother Nature, but we haven't been listening. I'd say this is just the beginning.
O.K. Just heard on NDTV News that Martina Hingis has decided to come out of retirement :)
BFN.
January 28, 2005
You know how when you're in school one little incident can change things forever? Well, I heard the word "Oklahoma" in a TV programme that I was watching today and my mind went into flashback mode.
But this is not about me. This is about Anoop. He was a big duffer, but also one of the toughest Mallu's in our class, so nobody messed with him. During an English lesson in Class VIII, our teacher Mrs. Shankunni (also a Mallu) asked our boy to read part of a short story set in the background of the early twentieth century oil exploration days in a place called Tulsa, Oklahoma. Now though Anoop didn't have as bad an accent as some of the other Mallu's, it so happened that when he said Oklahoma, it came out as "Awwgla-hawma". Well, you can just imagine the laugh riot that broke out after that ... even Mrs. Shankunni couldn't help herself; poor Anoop was most embarrassed. But soon the whole episode was forgotten - that is until the next day when we were on the football ground. One of the guys was looking for someone to pass the ball to, when somebody shouted "...pass it to Awwgla!!!"
His life was never the same again. Because from that day till the time we finished school 4 years later, he was known only as Awwgla; and I'm pretty sure that those people who didn't know the story presumed Awwgla was in fact the name his parents had given him (many Mallu's have funny names). And no amount of effort (or musclepower) on his part could do anything to change that.
And I was thinking: If we had a class reunion today, I bet every single person present would still call him Awwgla!
... I couldn't help laughing out loud :)
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
But this is not about me. This is about Anoop. He was a big duffer, but also one of the toughest Mallu's in our class, so nobody messed with him. During an English lesson in Class VIII, our teacher Mrs. Shankunni (also a Mallu) asked our boy to read part of a short story set in the background of the early twentieth century oil exploration days in a place called Tulsa, Oklahoma. Now though Anoop didn't have as bad an accent as some of the other Mallu's, it so happened that when he said Oklahoma, it came out as "Awwgla-hawma". Well, you can just imagine the laugh riot that broke out after that ... even Mrs. Shankunni couldn't help herself; poor Anoop was most embarrassed. But soon the whole episode was forgotten - that is until the next day when we were on the football ground. One of the guys was looking for someone to pass the ball to, when somebody shouted "...pass it to Awwgla!!!"
His life was never the same again. Because from that day till the time we finished school 4 years later, he was known only as Awwgla; and I'm pretty sure that those people who didn't know the story presumed Awwgla was in fact the name his parents had given him (many Mallu's have funny names). And no amount of effort (or musclepower) on his part could do anything to change that.
And I was thinking: If we had a class reunion today, I bet every single person present would still call him Awwgla!
... I couldn't help laughing out loud :)
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
January 26, 2005
I found a website yesterday that contains the complete works of J. Krishnamurthy - every book he's written, every talk he ever gave. Thousands of words of wisdom at the click of a mouse. I read through a few pages; some things I could understand, but others were beyond my comprehension.
You know, I see wise men as people who will tell you that the water you're about to dive into is cold; but you will only know for certain just how cold it is when you're in it. You will find the chill unbearable for some time, but then your body will slowly begin to adjust to the temperature. This adjustment is something only you can do.
But is it the same with the mind?
Yes, I certainly think so. People can tell us what is right and wrong, but in the end the decisions are ours. So rather than having them tell us what/how to think, I'd say what we really need is someone to help us live with our decisions. But like the body that will find ways to keep itself warm in the cold, this is something we have to do for ourselves. Because only we know how.
Peace, love, and the wisdom of ordinary men.
You know, I see wise men as people who will tell you that the water you're about to dive into is cold; but you will only know for certain just how cold it is when you're in it. You will find the chill unbearable for some time, but then your body will slowly begin to adjust to the temperature. This adjustment is something only you can do.
But is it the same with the mind?
Yes, I certainly think so. People can tell us what is right and wrong, but in the end the decisions are ours. So rather than having them tell us what/how to think, I'd say what we really need is someone to help us live with our decisions. But like the body that will find ways to keep itself warm in the cold, this is something we have to do for ourselves. Because only we know how.
Peace, love, and the wisdom of ordinary men.
January 25, 2005
NBZ was reading the Times of India this morning, when he turned to me and says: hey SwB, you wanna go catch Osama? ... they've raised the bounty to 50 Million!
"Ok listen to this: There are lots of bekaar buggers (indirectly referring to me of course) in our country right? So wouldn't it be a super idea if the Indian government announced a scheme whereby all the millions of rotters are given the chance to do something constructive (err... make that destructive) and make some money while they're at it? The army will train and arm them to the teeth, and then air-drop them near the Afgan-Pak border. Of all the millons, somebody should be able to shoot Osama ... even if by mistake! Actually their orders should just be: aim for anybody with a beard and turban! The person who succeeds will get the 50 million (of which 40% would be taxed at source); the Indian government would end up being the recipient of all kinds of American financial aid and other assistance running into billions of dollars ... Congress might even be pressurized into passing a bill whereby all US outsourcing contracts should compulsorily go to Indian companies henceforth; and Bush would successfully be able to force a constitutional amendment whereby he becomes the first President ever to contest a third term. And in that way everybody's happy"
"Wow NBZ, you're a genius! You better dash off a letter with your plan to all the bigwigs at North, South, East and West Blocks pronto."
"But wait SwB, you haven't heard the best part: Of the millions that the army sends to Afghanistan, only the chap who gets Osama should be brought back to India. The other unlucky rotters can remain where they are" :)
"Ok listen to this: There are lots of bekaar buggers (indirectly referring to me of course) in our country right? So wouldn't it be a super idea if the Indian government announced a scheme whereby all the millions of rotters are given the chance to do something constructive (err... make that destructive) and make some money while they're at it? The army will train and arm them to the teeth, and then air-drop them near the Afgan-Pak border. Of all the millons, somebody should be able to shoot Osama ... even if by mistake! Actually their orders should just be: aim for anybody with a beard and turban! The person who succeeds will get the 50 million (of which 40% would be taxed at source); the Indian government would end up being the recipient of all kinds of American financial aid and other assistance running into billions of dollars ... Congress might even be pressurized into passing a bill whereby all US outsourcing contracts should compulsorily go to Indian companies henceforth; and Bush would successfully be able to force a constitutional amendment whereby he becomes the first President ever to contest a third term. And in that way everybody's happy"
"Wow NBZ, you're a genius! You better dash off a letter with your plan to all the bigwigs at North, South, East and West Blocks pronto."
"But wait SwB, you haven't heard the best part: Of the millions that the army sends to Afghanistan, only the chap who gets Osama should be brought back to India. The other unlucky rotters can remain where they are" :)
January 24, 2005
Just read Tan's post on platonic marriages. I am sure that if divorce were as easy and socially acceptable in our country as it is in the West, we'd have millions of couples separating from each other.
I can think of nothing worse than having to spend your life with someone you cannot tolerate; and that's what so many couples do, isn't it? ... they tolerate each other.
But what about those people who can't do it? I, for one, would never be able to just put up with someone; I'd want out.
Time changes everything. I guess a marriage is no exception. So why can't people just accept that and go along with it. By wanting things to remain as they were initially, and by taking steps to somehow accomplish that end, we are only interfering with the natural process through which everything must pass. It's like a person of sixty trying to look twenty again - just not possible.
Tan talks about the lack of physical intimacy that often finds its way into a marriage. But I wonder: is it wrong to expect those things that started it all, to always stay alive? Does the fire always need to be kept burning the same way? Maybe there is something else that should take over; something else that not too many people bother to wait and discover.
Peace, love, and confused answers to confused problems.
I can think of nothing worse than having to spend your life with someone you cannot tolerate; and that's what so many couples do, isn't it? ... they tolerate each other.
But what about those people who can't do it? I, for one, would never be able to just put up with someone; I'd want out.
Time changes everything. I guess a marriage is no exception. So why can't people just accept that and go along with it. By wanting things to remain as they were initially, and by taking steps to somehow accomplish that end, we are only interfering with the natural process through which everything must pass. It's like a person of sixty trying to look twenty again - just not possible.
Tan talks about the lack of physical intimacy that often finds its way into a marriage. But I wonder: is it wrong to expect those things that started it all, to always stay alive? Does the fire always need to be kept burning the same way? Maybe there is something else that should take over; something else that not too many people bother to wait and discover.
Peace, love, and confused answers to confused problems.
January 5, 2005
I feel feverish. Damn it SwB! ...you've been eating and drinking all kinds of shit these past few weeks. I think I'm gonna go on a diet of that Aloe Vera juice which my psycho uncle from Goa sold us. Bludy stuff costs a bomb and is bitter as goddamn hell ...comes all the way from the deserts of Arizona. The company that makes it is called Forever Living Products.
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today
This morning saw me making a mad dash to my stock broker's. Remember I had mentioned the possibility of getting swept away in a stock-market Tsunami? ...well, everybody knew it was imminent but a majority of us chose to wait until the waves started to look dangerous. Greed - definitely the deadliest of the seven deadly sins. Civilizations are built on greed; and it is that very same greed which can bring about their destruction. We are a bunch of avaricious little roaches and that will never change; if it did, the world just wouldn't make any sense. In fact, I'm pretty sure we'd all go bludy mad.
But you know, the world doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me as it is. Truth is: I don't even want to make sense of it any more. TS pretty much speaks my mind when she says "I'm not sure what it is--age or laziness--that increasingly makes me want to surrender my life to the universe and leave it all up to that Grand Plan"
I want to let go too. Let them - whoever or whatever - do what they like with me. And you never know - I just might have the last laugh. Wouldn't that be fun?
***
O.K. My buddy OrangeCloud has just brought to my attention a piece of news that I find quite embarrassing. I'm all for record breaking feats, but this can't be good for my reputation. I'm just glad our local news channels haven't reported this ...yet!
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today
This morning saw me making a mad dash to my stock broker's. Remember I had mentioned the possibility of getting swept away in a stock-market Tsunami? ...well, everybody knew it was imminent but a majority of us chose to wait until the waves started to look dangerous. Greed - definitely the deadliest of the seven deadly sins. Civilizations are built on greed; and it is that very same greed which can bring about their destruction. We are a bunch of avaricious little roaches and that will never change; if it did, the world just wouldn't make any sense. In fact, I'm pretty sure we'd all go bludy mad.
But you know, the world doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me as it is. Truth is: I don't even want to make sense of it any more. TS pretty much speaks my mind when she says "I'm not sure what it is--age or laziness--that increasingly makes me want to surrender my life to the universe and leave it all up to that Grand Plan"
I want to let go too. Let them - whoever or whatever - do what they like with me. And you never know - I just might have the last laugh. Wouldn't that be fun?
***
O.K. My buddy OrangeCloud has just brought to my attention a piece of news that I find quite embarrassing. I'm all for record breaking feats, but this can't be good for my reputation. I'm just glad our local news channels haven't reported this ...yet!
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