I've been going to gym regularly for the past couple of weeks. I feel strong again. I find my mind works better when I'm in good physical shape; I don't worry about things as much ... and that's because there is this sense of power, which somehow makes me believe that I can handle anything the world throws at me. It feels good to be in control .... even if the feeling is only an illusion.

The guy who was living in the ground-floor flat of our building died late Sunday night. I came to know only today. He lived alone .... and died alone - massive heart attack. He used to leave his door open sometimes .... I could see the place was filthy. He was just 32.

He looked like someone who had given up on life. Unemployed, and with nothing else to do, he would spend his time tending to the plants in the yard behind. I was filled with a terrible feeling of regret when I got the news this morning. For the past month or so, I had been meaning to go down and say hello to him.

I guess he went quietly; without a fight.

***

When we were kids, most of our time was spent getting into fights and destroying whatever took our fancy. If I tell you of some of the things we did, you'd be horrified (and if you're an animal lover, you might want to kill me). Truth is, every damn thing we did had that destructive element to it; nobody ever cared to listen to our problems and show us another way. Fight your own battles was always the answer we got.

But there comes a time when you get tired of fighting .... when you will find yourself turning the other cheek. But you know what: there's nothing like knowing you could return a knock-out punch if the need arose.

Peace, love, and another round with the devil.