Theirs was a love so strong
they kept it out in the sun
and in the rain and the snow
till it got brittle
and broke.
September 6, 2011
August 19, 2011
To me getting rid of corruption in this country is like a project to clean the river Ganges. There is only one way to do it -- drain the river completely, clean the thousands of years of shit collected at the bottom, and shoot all those bastards who will waste no time in dirtying it again. Does Anna have any clue how he's going to do it? Or does he merely stand by the banks of the great river proclaiming that something is rotten, all the while hoping that the river will drain on its own, get cleaned by itself, and that all those filthy bastards we can do without will be so obliging as to shoot themselves in the head?
I believe that as of now the only thing Anna Hazare has done is to become a symbol of hope for those who actually believe there is some hope. But for things to change it will take a cleaning up the kinds of which has never been seen before. How many of us are willing to get our hands dirty?
Having said that, I have to say I am terribly excited at the prospect of what lies ahead post this new inquilab. Perhaps we shouldn’t even be talking about a big change. Perhaps the little changes would work just as well. Let’s wait and see. Or rather, let’s not wait and see. Let’s go out there and do our bit.
How I wish guns were freely available in this country!
I believe that as of now the only thing Anna Hazare has done is to become a symbol of hope for those who actually believe there is some hope. But for things to change it will take a cleaning up the kinds of which has never been seen before. How many of us are willing to get our hands dirty?
Having said that, I have to say I am terribly excited at the prospect of what lies ahead post this new inquilab. Perhaps we shouldn’t even be talking about a big change. Perhaps the little changes would work just as well. Let’s wait and see. Or rather, let’s not wait and see. Let’s go out there and do our bit.
How I wish guns were freely available in this country!
July 27, 2011
So the Pakis have very cleverly managed to sideline all issues relating to dialogue and bilateral mumbo-jumbo by shifting everyone’s attention to their new babe Foreign Minister! Because the truth is they don’t want dialogue – they want Kashmir, and whatever else they can get their hands on. As for their choice of young lady, we have to say, bravo! South Block must not have seen so much excitement in years!
The press as always is the first to be distracted. I can just imagine the scene at the joint press conference when it happens:
Madam, can you tell us in brief your foreign policy on India?
In brief, it is not to let the Indians into my territory.
But what if they manage to sneak in and infiltrate your sensitive installations??
I can assure you all sensitive installations are well protected. Penetration attempts of any kind will be met with swift action!
…. But the Americans penetrate at will!
Do not compare yourselves to the Americans. They are a lot bigger than you!!
***
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. When a guy decides to surprise a girl by proposing marriage, as we so often see in the movies, how does he know beforehand if the ring will fit? And in ZNMD the ring that he buys for his mother slides effortlessly on to his girlfriend’s finger! I wonder.
But the worst part of the whole movie – or should I say the most depressing - is when Katrina (who looks so gorgeous you want to reach out and grab her ... in a nice way of course!) rides off on a Bullet behind their car and then proceeds to kiss that reptile Roshan smack on the mouth. Ewww!
Apart from being a visual treat (I can see a whole bunch of rich Delhi/Chandigarh types and possibly even the more thrifty Mumbaikar already booking their tickets to Spain), ZNMD does nothing but to promote tourism in what is a near bankrupt country, and gives us delusions of how wonderful life would be if we risked it all and 'just did it'. But where's the sense in showing a bunch of rich folk doing this? They've got nothing to bludy lose! Show me instead a hard working, loan paying, average everyday Joe who says to hell with everything, and just goes out and does what he has always wanted to do, and I will applaud louder than all the crowds at the Tomatina put together.
From The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter, this is Right Moves.
The press as always is the first to be distracted. I can just imagine the scene at the joint press conference when it happens:
Madam, can you tell us in brief your foreign policy on India?
In brief, it is not to let the Indians into my territory.
But what if they manage to sneak in and infiltrate your sensitive installations??
I can assure you all sensitive installations are well protected. Penetration attempts of any kind will be met with swift action!
…. But the Americans penetrate at will!
Do not compare yourselves to the Americans. They are a lot bigger than you!!
***
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. When a guy decides to surprise a girl by proposing marriage, as we so often see in the movies, how does he know beforehand if the ring will fit? And in ZNMD the ring that he buys for his mother slides effortlessly on to his girlfriend’s finger! I wonder.
But the worst part of the whole movie – or should I say the most depressing - is when Katrina (who looks so gorgeous you want to reach out and grab her ... in a nice way of course!) rides off on a Bullet behind their car and then proceeds to kiss that reptile Roshan smack on the mouth. Ewww!
Apart from being a visual treat (I can see a whole bunch of rich Delhi/Chandigarh types and possibly even the more thrifty Mumbaikar already booking their tickets to Spain), ZNMD does nothing but to promote tourism in what is a near bankrupt country, and gives us delusions of how wonderful life would be if we risked it all and 'just did it'. But where's the sense in showing a bunch of rich folk doing this? They've got nothing to bludy lose! Show me instead a hard working, loan paying, average everyday Joe who says to hell with everything, and just goes out and does what he has always wanted to do, and I will applaud louder than all the crowds at the Tomatina put together.
From The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter, this is Right Moves.
July 4, 2011
Frankly I have to say I’m a little disappointed that Aamir Khan, from whom we’ve come to expect more (given that the rest of our filmmakers barring one or two are all a bunch of idiots) would decide to dive into what I call the 'Tapori humour' genre. But judging by the hoards of (presumably intelligent) people queuing up outside cinemas to get a piece of the action, I’d say business-wise at least he has made a good decision.
Watching the trailer you know just what to expect – a ridiculously contrived plot, buffoonery, and crass, sometimes juvenile humour passing off for comedy. But when you have audiences that will laugh at practically anything, it works. In fact I reckon If I got up and cracked a joke while the movie was running, people would laugh at that too.
And have you noticed how in almost every so-called Hindi comedy there has to be a trigger event where something gets inter-changed with something else or passes into the wrong hands – be it money, jewels, a human being even, or in this case - shit! Without that mix-up nothing happens. I wonder why.
As the name of the movie itself suggests, its makers had no clue what to call it. Smelly Potty might have worked just as well!
***
I need to buy a new phone. The thought did cross my mind to buy one of those ugly black contraptions everyone seems to have these days but I will not let myself be 'Blackburied', no matter how handy those damn things are.
Even if they’re handy, are they value for money? Because really there is no greater satisfaction than getting value for money. And that’s the problem: most manufacturers will never give you value for money. Because then you will end up being satisfied for longer than they’d like. Which is not good for business.
***
My first post published using Windows Live Writer. Which is pretty cool, I think. Not everything Microsoft makes is bad!
Here’s a track that came pre-loaded with my new laptop - from a band that call themselves Assembly of Dust (wonder if they had naming issues similar to the makers of Delhi Belly). Featuring banjo maestro Béla Fleck this is Edges.
Watching the trailer you know just what to expect – a ridiculously contrived plot, buffoonery, and crass, sometimes juvenile humour passing off for comedy. But when you have audiences that will laugh at practically anything, it works. In fact I reckon If I got up and cracked a joke while the movie was running, people would laugh at that too.
And have you noticed how in almost every so-called Hindi comedy there has to be a trigger event where something gets inter-changed with something else or passes into the wrong hands – be it money, jewels, a human being even, or in this case - shit! Without that mix-up nothing happens. I wonder why.
As the name of the movie itself suggests, its makers had no clue what to call it. Smelly Potty might have worked just as well!
***
I need to buy a new phone. The thought did cross my mind to buy one of those ugly black contraptions everyone seems to have these days but I will not let myself be 'Blackburied', no matter how handy those damn things are.
Even if they’re handy, are they value for money? Because really there is no greater satisfaction than getting value for money. And that’s the problem: most manufacturers will never give you value for money. Because then you will end up being satisfied for longer than they’d like. Which is not good for business.
***
My first post published using Windows Live Writer. Which is pretty cool, I think. Not everything Microsoft makes is bad!
Here’s a track that came pre-loaded with my new laptop - from a band that call themselves Assembly of Dust (wonder if they had naming issues similar to the makers of Delhi Belly). Featuring banjo maestro Béla Fleck this is Edges.
June 12, 2011
Write about the rains if you must, she says. Okay then, about the rains. Yeah, the rains are nice. If you are a millionaire sitting in your comfy chair by the window sipping some 30-year-old single malt and smoking a pipe filled with something you would normally get arrested for. For the rest of us it means slushing around in the puddles and the muck and trying not to fall sick from God-knows-what. And so the rains are something I love and hate in equal measure. I cannot think of anything else I can say that about.
***
So MF is dead. And frankly I don't see what all the fuss is about. If my art made me as much money as it did him, I wouldn't care where I lived or died. And I wouldn't think twice before painting a nice pair of lady bumps on the map of India or anything else if it paid for a new Ferrari. Desh prem be damned! And if he wanted a glass of Mumbai falooda (which I hate!) so damn bad, he should just have flown in a Mumbai faloodawalla and had glass after glass of that awful drink till London's sewer authority launched an investigation into the extraordinary number of tiny seed like things making their way into the city's underbelly.
***
Shaitan the movie is a complete waste of precious weekend time. One of those films where you come out feeling absolutely nothing (if you leave aside that feeling of having been cheated paying 100 bucks for bludy popcorn!). And why make a movie about a bunch of stupid rich kids doing what only stupid rich kids do? Sex, drugs and fast cars - we know the routine. Tell us something new or don't waste our time. As for the bloodbaths, leave that to Tarantino. Only he can butcher as many people as he wants and get away with it.
Nice week.
***
So MF is dead. And frankly I don't see what all the fuss is about. If my art made me as much money as it did him, I wouldn't care where I lived or died. And I wouldn't think twice before painting a nice pair of lady bumps on the map of India or anything else if it paid for a new Ferrari. Desh prem be damned! And if he wanted a glass of Mumbai falooda (which I hate!) so damn bad, he should just have flown in a Mumbai faloodawalla and had glass after glass of that awful drink till London's sewer authority launched an investigation into the extraordinary number of tiny seed like things making their way into the city's underbelly.
***
Shaitan the movie is a complete waste of precious weekend time. One of those films where you come out feeling absolutely nothing (if you leave aside that feeling of having been cheated paying 100 bucks for bludy popcorn!). And why make a movie about a bunch of stupid rich kids doing what only stupid rich kids do? Sex, drugs and fast cars - we know the routine. Tell us something new or don't waste our time. As for the bloodbaths, leave that to Tarantino. Only he can butcher as many people as he wants and get away with it.
Nice week.
May 4, 2011
Why is everyone so flummoxed over what happened at Abbottabad? Why are there so many theories going around in the media? Or are Rajdeep Boredesai and his pal Borenob Goswami trying to stretch the story as much as possible because the elections in Bengal ain't doing anything to excite the ratings?
It's not that hard to imagine why many people might call this America's latest Operation BS -- 'bama in 'sama out. Simple as that. Everyone knows 'bama hasn't delivered on half the crap he promised in '08, and with '12 round the corner, something had to happen. Or, as the great Russell Peters would have put it, "somebody gonna get-a-hurt real bad!" Gadaffi would have been ideal at this point in time, but that would have meant stepping into a whole pile of political dogshit and possibly a few more graves at Arlington, so what the hell - why not take out ol' 'sama? They had him sitting tight as a guest of the Pakistanis anyway, with the bastards probably billing them for it, the ungrateful swine, so all in all a win-win! Oh but they had to make it look real; the American people ain't that stupid. So in go in a bunch of Navy Seals (might even have been the Navy Eels, who knows?) and out goes Osama ... into the depths of the ocean! With proper Islamic rites of course. Yes, we have no reason to doubt that the US Navy is not actually aware of the Islamic rites that go with the act of throwing a bullet-ridden corpse into the sea.
Can they really do this, some of you might be asking? To which I reckon the President would reply, "Yes We Can!"
***
Theories aside, it's hard to believe anything anybody says these days. Two days later we're being told by the press that 'details are still emerging'. Which is their way of saying, 'we don't know shit!' So now he could have been killed by his own guards, or maybe even his sons greedy for power, or maybe - just maybe - a US helicopter flying over the area developed a technical snag and crash-landed into a compound just as the infamous master of the household was getting ready to retire for the night. What an astonishing stroke of luck that would have been! "Wow Barrie, you sonofabitch!" I can almost hear George W. Bush Jr. go.
It's not that hard to imagine why many people might call this America's latest Operation BS -- 'bama in 'sama out. Simple as that. Everyone knows 'bama hasn't delivered on half the crap he promised in '08, and with '12 round the corner, something had to happen. Or, as the great Russell Peters would have put it, "somebody gonna get-a-hurt real bad!" Gadaffi would have been ideal at this point in time, but that would have meant stepping into a whole pile of political dogshit and possibly a few more graves at Arlington, so what the hell - why not take out ol' 'sama? They had him sitting tight as a guest of the Pakistanis anyway, with the bastards probably billing them for it, the ungrateful swine, so all in all a win-win! Oh but they had to make it look real; the American people ain't that stupid. So in go in a bunch of Navy Seals (might even have been the Navy Eels, who knows?) and out goes Osama ... into the depths of the ocean! With proper Islamic rites of course. Yes, we have no reason to doubt that the US Navy is not actually aware of the Islamic rites that go with the act of throwing a bullet-ridden corpse into the sea.
Can they really do this, some of you might be asking? To which I reckon the President would reply, "Yes We Can!"
***
Theories aside, it's hard to believe anything anybody says these days. Two days later we're being told by the press that 'details are still emerging'. Which is their way of saying, 'we don't know shit!' So now he could have been killed by his own guards, or maybe even his sons greedy for power, or maybe - just maybe - a US helicopter flying over the area developed a technical snag and crash-landed into a compound just as the infamous master of the household was getting ready to retire for the night. What an astonishing stroke of luck that would have been! "Wow Barrie, you sonofabitch!" I can almost hear George W. Bush Jr. go.
April 22, 2011
So the kid playing Jesus was making noises that sounded more like pleasure than pain. And the Roman soldier standing behind him with the whip wasn't helping. I tried very hard but every aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh that emanated from Jesus after the whip came lashing down on his body had me cracking up. Nobody else seemed to find it funny though. I really should go to church more often.
Good Friday. That day when booze is manna (i.e. they way it's pronounced in Hindi as opposed to in Hebrew, which is what it is at most other times). And we can eat only fish. Apparently a fish has less blood than a chicken or a goat so it's ok to eat on Good Friday. Yes, fish actually passes off for 'non-meat' on days such as these - ain't that wonderful?
Personally I wonder about the deeper meaning, or rather the message, behind Good Friday and Easter. I should have listened more attentively to what Mrs. Lemos was going on about during those catechism classes instead of marvelling at how Sonia's bazongas were so perfectly shaped. My bad.
The simple devout people I saw in church this morning though only seemed to know this much: Jesus went through hell for us so that we might be saved. He died on Good Friday and rose again Easter Sunday. On Good Friday we shall be morose and on Easter Sunday we shall rejoice!
For me it's about rising again after all the little deaths we die every day. Every day that is like one station of the cross: On some days a Veronica (or maybe even a Sonia!) will turn up and make it better; on others a good Simon will lend a helping hand, and on the rest you trudge on by yourself, stumbling and falling at times. And the destination always is that end which is inevitable. Hopefully we'll be spared a crucifixion.
The Black Eyed Pees - Just can't get enough. Yeah, I can't be morose on Good Friday. In fact I feel like dancing. Coz I have a holiday and can put my cross down for a bit. Such blasphemy, they must be saying!
Good Friday. That day when booze is manna (i.e. they way it's pronounced in Hindi as opposed to in Hebrew, which is what it is at most other times). And we can eat only fish. Apparently a fish has less blood than a chicken or a goat so it's ok to eat on Good Friday. Yes, fish actually passes off for 'non-meat' on days such as these - ain't that wonderful?
Personally I wonder about the deeper meaning, or rather the message, behind Good Friday and Easter. I should have listened more attentively to what Mrs. Lemos was going on about during those catechism classes instead of marvelling at how Sonia's bazongas were so perfectly shaped. My bad.
The simple devout people I saw in church this morning though only seemed to know this much: Jesus went through hell for us so that we might be saved. He died on Good Friday and rose again Easter Sunday. On Good Friday we shall be morose and on Easter Sunday we shall rejoice!
For me it's about rising again after all the little deaths we die every day. Every day that is like one station of the cross: On some days a Veronica (or maybe even a Sonia!) will turn up and make it better; on others a good Simon will lend a helping hand, and on the rest you trudge on by yourself, stumbling and falling at times. And the destination always is that end which is inevitable. Hopefully we'll be spared a crucifixion.
The Black Eyed Pees - Just can't get enough. Yeah, I can't be morose on Good Friday. In fact I feel like dancing. Coz I have a holiday and can put my cross down for a bit. Such blasphemy, they must be saying!
January 16, 2011
Look at the lines on your palm and you know there was nothing you could do. Or change even if you wanted to. Those lines have always been the same, they just got longer from child to adulthood. And the choices you made were many times not choices at all - they were the result of circumstance over which you had no control.
And when you tell me that you find yourself alone, and that life is standing still, and that everyone you know has 'moved on' I ask you, -- Have they really move on or merely changed direction? When the road is long and the scenery the same mile after mile it can seem like you haven't moved at all. But you have. And as for those who were once by your side and later went their own way, who is to say they don't feel exactly the way you do now? Who is to say they scenery on the road they took hasn't changed in a very long time? So don't talk about going back. When you have travelled this long and this far, going back is not an option. From here you can only look ahead. And when one day you get to this small town by the highway you will stay a while and then want to move again. That's just how it is. You will keep going till you reach the sea. For wherever you are on this earth, if you keep travelling, one day you will - reach the sea.
So sit down, pour yourself a drink, and let's talk. Coz though it feels like you are dying inside, your heart's still beating.
And when you tell me that you find yourself alone, and that life is standing still, and that everyone you know has 'moved on' I ask you, -- Have they really move on or merely changed direction? When the road is long and the scenery the same mile after mile it can seem like you haven't moved at all. But you have. And as for those who were once by your side and later went their own way, who is to say they don't feel exactly the way you do now? Who is to say they scenery on the road they took hasn't changed in a very long time? So don't talk about going back. When you have travelled this long and this far, going back is not an option. From here you can only look ahead. And when one day you get to this small town by the highway you will stay a while and then want to move again. That's just how it is. You will keep going till you reach the sea. For wherever you are on this earth, if you keep travelling, one day you will - reach the sea.
So sit down, pour yourself a drink, and let's talk. Coz though it feels like you are dying inside, your heart's still beating.
December 31, 2010
I have a choice: Ignore my very badly inflamed throat and tonsils and head out with the boys to have a rocking New Year, not worrying too much about what will happen thereafter, or, stay at home and let my mother take good care of me so that I am fit and fine tomorrow and the day after when all the fun is over.
Hmmm .... I really don't know.
***
2010. A year in which so may people I know found the love of their lives and have tied the knot (or have picked up their crosses ... haha!), it's actually quite depressing. Well - for the rest of us becharas there's always next year. That's tomorrow.
It is also the end of a decade - one I remember was brought in with a big party on Fats' terrace where after about an hour decibel levels reached such a high it took a van full of policemen and a thousand bucks cash to bring things down to normal again. And I remember looking up at the night sky thinking how awesome it is to be alive at the turn of the millennium and hoping that from then on things would be different. I would get my life back on track, forget about the girl who broke my heart and basically just make things work. Have I succeeded? Funny thing is now, ten years later, I really don't care or even think about it that much. Life is what it is - like my friend Lü always says in his Swiss-German accent -- "It izz what it izz" and you just gotta go with it.
I often wonder what it must be like though to live the life of someone else - to be in their shoes and socks and pants and shirts (no, never in their underwear, in case you're wondering). Like I think about people I know, mostly fellow bloggers whom I have never met, and imagine what it's like being a single mother who has just released a book I hope will make her famous, or this other guy in advertising married to this really hot dame (whoa, he must have a life, the lucky sumbich!), stuff like that. Would life have been different for me were I in a different line of work ? Or if I had lived in a different city maybe? Would a career in advertising in Bombay have landed me a hot dame and a flat in Bandra or would I still have been plain ol' me in this boring city? I wonder.
Anyway, not too much to fret about. You never know how things change in the course of a year. Close it with Josh Ritter whose music I've been listening to a lot lately.
For all of you for whom 2010 didn't deliver, here's to 2011!
Peace, love, and fresh promises.
Hmmm .... I really don't know.
***
2010. A year in which so may people I know found the love of their lives and have tied the knot (or have picked up their crosses ... haha!), it's actually quite depressing. Well - for the rest of us becharas there's always next year. That's tomorrow.
It is also the end of a decade - one I remember was brought in with a big party on Fats' terrace where after about an hour decibel levels reached such a high it took a van full of policemen and a thousand bucks cash to bring things down to normal again. And I remember looking up at the night sky thinking how awesome it is to be alive at the turn of the millennium and hoping that from then on things would be different. I would get my life back on track, forget about the girl who broke my heart and basically just make things work. Have I succeeded? Funny thing is now, ten years later, I really don't care or even think about it that much. Life is what it is - like my friend Lü always says in his Swiss-German accent -- "It izz what it izz" and you just gotta go with it.
I often wonder what it must be like though to live the life of someone else - to be in their shoes and socks and pants and shirts (no, never in their underwear, in case you're wondering). Like I think about people I know, mostly fellow bloggers whom I have never met, and imagine what it's like being a single mother who has just released a book I hope will make her famous, or this other guy in advertising married to this really hot dame (whoa, he must have a life, the lucky sumbich!), stuff like that. Would life have been different for me were I in a different line of work ? Or if I had lived in a different city maybe? Would a career in advertising in Bombay have landed me a hot dame and a flat in Bandra or would I still have been plain ol' me in this boring city? I wonder.
Anyway, not too much to fret about. You never know how things change in the course of a year. Close it with Josh Ritter whose music I've been listening to a lot lately.
For all of you for whom 2010 didn't deliver, here's to 2011!
Peace, love, and fresh promises.
November 15, 2010
Pam Anderson on Bigg Boss 4 ... apparently to push up the ratings! Indian television really has reached new lows. Or new highs depending on how you look at it.
As for Big B and KBC, what's with all these people acting like they've been granted an audience with God? I should be on that damn show, -- yeah yeah nice wig, now lets get on with it! And no, I don't wanna listen to any of your old man's bludy poems!
The Social Network. Good movie. Reaffirms my belief that sometimes all you need is that one big idea. Or someone else's big idea. I heard some guy in front of me say, -- Shit, he stole the idea!! Can't help thinking that if he hadn't, Facebook as we know it today might never existed. Also I'm wondering: If I steal a hundred bucks from you and turn it into a million, how much do I owe you back?
What I like about Facebook is how it's constantly evolving. What started as a I wanna check out your hot fotos.com is now so much more. Last week, believe it or not, I got invited to a wedding on Facebook. Which can't be good news for establishments such as these. Took a while to sink in - a wedding! Not some party at a restaurant or a pub, but a wedding with a bride and a groom and all the nonsense that goes with it. Unbelievable! Soon to launch is Facebook email from what I hear. Facemail. What next? One can only guess.
***
Two awards in as many weeks at work. One a big-ass one ... which'll look really good on my resume. But I'm beyond that now. I want something else. Timing is everything - the difference between win and lose. This man more than anyone will testify to that.
The Grateful Dead with a song I love. Loser!
As for Big B and KBC, what's with all these people acting like they've been granted an audience with God? I should be on that damn show, -- yeah yeah nice wig, now lets get on with it! And no, I don't wanna listen to any of your old man's bludy poems!
The Social Network. Good movie. Reaffirms my belief that sometimes all you need is that one big idea. Or someone else's big idea. I heard some guy in front of me say, -- Shit, he stole the idea!! Can't help thinking that if he hadn't, Facebook as we know it today might never existed. Also I'm wondering: If I steal a hundred bucks from you and turn it into a million, how much do I owe you back?
What I like about Facebook is how it's constantly evolving. What started as a I wanna check out your hot fotos.com is now so much more. Last week, believe it or not, I got invited to a wedding on Facebook. Which can't be good news for establishments such as these. Took a while to sink in - a wedding! Not some party at a restaurant or a pub, but a wedding with a bride and a groom and all the nonsense that goes with it. Unbelievable! Soon to launch is Facebook email from what I hear. Facemail. What next? One can only guess.
***
Two awards in as many weeks at work. One a big-ass one ... which'll look really good on my resume. But I'm beyond that now. I want something else. Timing is everything - the difference between win and lose. This man more than anyone will testify to that.
The Grateful Dead with a song I love. Loser!
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