I think the most annoying English proverb is the one that goes: You can't have your cake and eat it too. What good is the bludy cake if I can't frikkin' eat it. Bullshit!

I'm saying this because in spite of it being all nice and pretty, I don't think I'd be able to live here permanently. Life really would be quite mundane. Everything is so prim and proper that it can get to you after a while ... in fact the word I'd use is 'sanitized'. Now I understand why Indians living in the West save up all year to make that annual journey home. And it's got nothing to do with the country - it's the people.

Let me put it like this -- Life here is a constant. We Indians, we need the variables. Living in a place where everything was the same day in and day out would bludy kill us, even if it was all clean and beautiful. That's why when the train this morning was late by three minutes due to a heavy downpour, I suddenly felt at home. But you should have seen the worry on all the other faces. It was quite amusing.

***

Plan for this weekend not chalked out yet. I think I'd like to explore Zurich some more instead of heading out to Interlaken or Lausanne. But I'm not sure the others would like that too much. You know how it is with us Desis - we need to brag to everyone back home how many places we went to. Doesn't matter that we ended up seeing so little of those places.



It is a common sight here to see couples smooching in public (like these two I photographed at Mt. Pilatus). But when it's an Indian couple like the one I saw at Berne station last wekeend, it really is quite hilarious. More so when both boy and girl are nerdy looking techie types. And there's a big difference when the firangs do it and when we do it. They know how to kiss ... we do something funny with our lips and make idiots of ourselves. I tried to pretend I wasn't looking, or even bothered for that matter, but for some reason they decided to move away.

Food. Last night I ate Falafel at a Lebanese joint. Which was the worst damn Falafel I've ever eaten. Tasteless bludy shit. The previous night I had pizza at Dominoes. And what a treat that was. They have something called a Full House meaning it comes fully loaded. I tell you I'd kill to have pizza like that in India. And of course beer like Eichhof. Bludy good stuff.

Picture right on top is of the sun shining down on Lake Luzern. Taken by me last Saturday with my friends Sony Cybershot. (not a bad picture I think for such a lousy camera)

Ciao.

If you had to tell me six months ago that I’d be celebrating my birthday at a breathtakingly beautiful castle in Switzerland overlooking the Rhine Falls with a pretty Swiss girl I’d say you were bludy shitting me. But that’s exactly what happened. When she heard it was my birthday she made all the arrangements. First we went by boat to the falls and then at sundown a candlelit dinner where she surprised me with a cake and all.

***

This country is nothing short of amazing. They way they see to every little detail, the way everything works like it’s supposed to - the trains, the buses, the trams ... the way it’s all organised with the precision of those timepieces they’re so renowned for, and the whole way they have managed to integrate the old with the new so seamlessly, is something that has me totally captivated. To top it off everything is so damn clean and beautiful.

Saturday we went by train to Luzern and Berne. In Luzern we took the boat across the lake and then headed to Mount Pilatus where I got to go on my very first cable-car ride, and also saw snow for the first time. Berne in the evening was something of a ghost town ... which I am told is what you will find in most cities in Europe - everything (except for the restaurants) shuts by 7 and is closed on weekends. If something is open it is most likely run by an Indian.

The women ... What can I say - they’re gorgeous! And so, so stylish. Black seems to be the colour of choice … and leather a hot favourite. In the five days I’ve been here I have yet to see a shabbily dressed Swiss girl.

Quite surprising to see so many Indians here though. Plenty of Madrasis (or Tamilians as they prefer to be called). But you should see how well behaved they all are. Oh yeah, they will cross on the pedestrian crossing and throw their thrash in the bins, and most importantly - not talk too loud.

***

Here till the end of November so there’s a lot more still to come. Geneve, Lausanne, Basel, St. Moritz … all in the pipeline. Waiting for a buddy of mine to come over and then then the party starts. But things are pretty expensive here. Every time I see something nice in a shop window (like those soft toys) I think about how thrilled JC would be if I bought it for her. But all she’s getting are the Godiva chocolates.

There is one thing though that is damn cheap here - Beer! And boy have I been having lots of it.

Song that was playing a while back at the Burger King I had lunch at. Where the Pakistani girl at the counter spoke to me in German. For Ishani, whose birthday it was yesterday ... and for Bunny whose hippo birdie it is today.

Is it just me, or is he starting to look more and more like this man. Kinky!

***

Yes, it was the finish everybody wanted.

... And the Pakis didn't look too crestfallen, did they?

***

It's pretty elementary to see what this version of the game is all about. If you want to see it, that is.

***

Something to shake off that hangover.

I'm not anti-Hindu or anything but I hate how every Hindu festival spills out onto the streets, resulting in a public nuisance. I think the Gods would much rather be venerated in peoples homes than be made an exhibition of on street corners and at traffic intersections.

***

Jammed with couple of the boys from work this afternoon. Too bad there was no booze. Dry day. So many things in this country just don't make any sense. Like this Ram Sethu nonsense that has put the government in a spot. Ram should have done everyone a favour and just parted the waters.

***

JC went to see a movie with a boy today. Something which in my book qualifies as a date, even though she insists it wasn't. Anyway, whatever it was, she is now being subjected to a thorough interrogation ... quite funny to hear the old man giving her the gyaan on what goes on in the minds of young men these days - guilty until proven innocent!

***

O.K. How many of you with me on this -- Twenty 20 just ain't cricket. It has totally killed the strategic/tactical aspect of the game. And that bowl-out thing used to decide a tie is the most ridiculous shit I've ever seen ... it's like a football penalty shoot-out without the goalkeeper!

Heard it through the grapevine ... Mr. John "who'll stop the rain" Fogerty & Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Do take a look at BBC World's new Visionaries series, where they pit the old against the new in an attempt to decide (through viewer voting) who has made a more lasting impact on their respective fields of work.

I managed to catch the episode on architects Christopher Wren vs. Norm Foster. My vote definitely goes to Wren. Not that Norm Foster is any less a genius, but Wren had a certain passion that even today, some 300 years later, still oozes out of those magnificent creations in the city of London, most notably St. Pauls. And he did it in an age where one didn't have access to the tools Norm Foster has today.

I guess a true visionary is someone whose genius stands the test of time. That's why it's so surprising to see that people have voted Madonna ahead of Mozart in the music category. I mean, come on guys - Madonna?? Only thing about her that future generations will remember are those conical boob covers with the gold tassels which she wore in the Open Your Heart video.

On Charles Dickens vs. J.K. Rowling for literature ... well - tough one, wouldn't you say? :)

***

One person who sure as hell ain't no visionary in his line of work is Ram Gopal Verma! I hear audiences went through never before experienced levels of torture watching Aag. Friend of mine who's had his fill of the shit Bollywood's been dishing out lately says it would be better if every director in the Indian film industry switched to making porn. We could then call it Pollywood.

And Team India managed to live up to their expectation of not rising to the occasion once again. You'd have to be a complete moron not to see that the whole damn series was fixed. The way they let Utthapa score in those last few overs the previous game, it was quite obvious that they (or rather the bookies) wanted something to play for at Lords. Total no-brainer that the Limeys were going to win.

US Open. It gets so boring when all the pretty girls are out, no? Might as well just give Justine the bludy trophy and send her home.

***

Couple of guys from work want to jam up with the Blues this evening. You get the grog and the guitars and I'll bring my plectrum, is what I told them. One of them is an aspiring song-writer ... looks like I'm in for an overdose of 'original compositions'.

Change of plans. News has just reached me that Fats is down from Dubai ... guess he was planning to surprise me, the bugger. To hell with jam-session ... I'm chilling with Fats.

DM Band. This one for my old buddy Vishnu. Hope you're doin' good mate.

Someone said there'd been an accident up ahead. Half an hour of crawling through traffic later, I see the truck stopped on one side of the road. As we come up closer I can see the mangled frame of a motorcycle jammed under the front tyre. I turn my head away somewhat instinctively. But something strikes me as strange .... no blood, no splattered remains, nothing. They couldn't have cleaned up the mess that quickly. Then I see him, still holding his helmet, badly shaken ... a couple of bystanders trying to bring him back to his senses. The look on his face was one of disbelief. That he was still alive.

It takes a second ... to change everything. To bring faith back to one who had none; to remove the bitterness from one who was engulfed in it; to be grateful for what you have left ... and to want to make the best of it.

I completed a month on the new job yesterday. There are lots of things I don't like about the place ... stuff I miss from the old company. Like paper cups. India's third largest IT company and they don't got paper cups. Bludy pisses me off. You gotta taka a damn mug and wash it before and after you have your coffee. Is this how they counter the effects of the appreciating Rupee, I wonder? Just a matter of time before they tell us to bring our own coffee in a flask from home. Also there are no paper napkins in the loo (nobody seems to know why) ... next thing you know there'll be no toilet tissue! Seriously, it wouldn't surprise me.

***

So Mel's gone interactive. Pretty damn cool having your blogger talk to you, innit? But don't be expecting me to do no such thing ... public speaking is something that always scared me shitless.

I was wondering the other day -- how many of you actually like the music I play .... and how many of you even listen? Not too many I reckoned. So it was nice to get an email from Sangy this morning telling me the music does nice things for her soul :)

And she's got a request ... seems she's a Paul Hewson fan. Me too. Awesome bugger that Paul Hewson. Here he is babe ... just for you.

I'm driving through the Mojave in my open SUV, the hot desert wind lashing my face. Got a freezer-box with a couple of six-packs in the back, and lots of great muzak. Anybody wanna hop in next to me?? ... we'll be in Vegas by sundown :)

we are like flies
all looking for something to feast on
some feast on something sweet
others feast on shit!

At least if he had used that AK-56 of his to shoot this donkey dead, it would have been worth it going to jail for 6 years. What a waste!

Someone suggested the next part in the Munnabhai series be called 'Chud gaya Munnabhai'.

No comment.

***

Also it seems there was a Save Sanju (what is he - a whale?) campaign being planned by some jokers in Bollywood. However his sister Priya has asked them to desist from any such move.

But do you think such a campaign could actually influence the decision of the Supreme Court? And if the media had to join in, would we see an outcome like we did in the Jessica Lall case? One can only wonder.

From the soundtrack to Reservoir Dogs ... Stuck in the middle with you.