you took your coat off and stood in the rain
you were always crazy like that
and I watched from my window
always felt I was outside looking in on you

I would have been reading the morning papers now, but one look at the Times of India and I said, "forget it". All that colour and those badly drawn caricatures make the front page look like a cheap comic book. Done in the Wild West theme, the headline goes: 'Your Money Your Life' with a huge cartoon of Chidambaram made to look like a Tamilian cowboy - guns drawn and ready to fire. They're calling him 'Quickgun Moneygun'. At the bottom of the page Sonia is shown riding in a stagecoach with Manmohan and that other commie sardarji at the reins. It looks like The Times has some very enthusiastic and overly creative people working for them - who need to be bludy sacked!. Some people may like this kind of stuff, but as for me, I just end up putting away the paper and switching on the computer - listen to some music, type something here even though I don't really have anything to say.

You know, at the library yesterday evening, this guy who I used to see in the study room during exam time came and sat next to me and just started talking. He's a CA student and has failed his exams 3 times. I listened to him tell me how hard he's worked without any success; his folks want him to something else, but our man wont. Then I told him how long I've been at it, and he just looks at me in disbelief.

In the next one hour or so he told me about his work, his studies, his family, his goals for the future, and also his thoughts on women and the tricks they play with us guys. But the question I'm asking is: what made him want to come and tell me all of this?. How did he assume that I would listen, or that I give a damn or care about his troubles? Truth is I don't.

Perhaps he was down or confused and someone told him to go talk to this guy saltwater blues who's been at it for a long time and hasn't thrown in the towel yet. Maybe talking to me made him feel better about himself, because his face was much brighter after our talk - it seemed like his burden had somehow been made lighter.

So is that what I'm here for now - to make people feel better about themselves? And what about me - who's going to do the same for me? I'm on my own, I guess.

Playing now is the song 'Foolish Games' by Jewel Kilcher from her album 'Pieces of You'. If you'd like to know more about Jewel and her music, then read Madcaps latest post. BFN.

you'd teach me of honest things
things that were daring, things that were clean
things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
so I hid my soiled hands behind my back
somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you
excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else
somebody who gave a damn
somebody more like myself

these foolish games are tearing me apart
your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
you're breaking my heart