O.K. In the office here we have three different toilets - gents, ladies and common. Problem is they're all very small ... one wash basin, two piss pots (in the gents), two shit pots. So there are times when a lady or a gent is forced to use the common toilet. Like I was just now after lunch. So there I am washing my hands when this Japanese chick goes into the cubicle and in less time than it takes to say 'konnichiwa' pulls down her trousers and starts dropping the bombs. Christ Almighty! you're a woman for godssake ... and there's a man washing his hands just outside. But hell, she went on like a Kamikaze over Pearl Harbour.

... Maybe she ate some Indian food last night, poor thing.

Toilet tissue is another pain in the ass. We Indians just cant imagine a toilet without water. So some feel the need to innovate. What do they do? They take a bottle of Evian with them when they go. Yup, the bums here get washed with mineral water.

Overall I like the offices here. No cubicles or partitions like we have in India. The vending machines are super-cool and the lighting at your desk gets adjusted automatically depending on the light in the room and that coming in from outside. And there is so much stationery at my disposal I could start a bludy shop. Everyone says 'en Guete' when someone goes to lunch, meaning 'Enjoy your meal'. And they really make sure they enjoy their food ... no hurrying through whatever be the urgency.

This weekend promises to be a bummer. Minimum temperature of -5 C. And snow. Damn, I'm cursing myself or not bringing that bottle of Royal Challenge.

Anthony Kiedis and the Red Hot Chilies. Let it snow baby!

Back to work now.

It's starting to get pretty cold here. I won't say freezing yet, but we're getting there. Though I'm not feeling it as much as some of my colleagues. I keep telling them to eat lots of pork and potatoes like I'm doing, but they seem to have some kind of aversion towards pork. Which is stupid because it is only the tastiest bludy meat you can eat.

***

Decided to put Appenzell on hold till the weather gets better. So last weekend we walked around the old town of Zurich which was so like being on one of them medieval movie sets. I have always been fascinated by history and everything historical. The modern to me lacks character.

This below is the Fraumunster taken from up in the tower of the Grossmunster across the river ... by me of course. I love heights.



***

And there's nothing like a call from a friend to lift your spirits when the cold's got you down. And when it's our man Ally from hot and humid Mumbai city, it comes with a good laugh too.

Dude mein suna tu udhar ladki pataya!

No-no man, she's just a friend who volunteered to take me around.

Yes, yes, and I'm sure you've been happily going around!

LOL. No it's nothing like that.

Dude you're only going to get one innings so you better take a wicket!

That's not the intention at all. I'd prefer a nice Indian girl anyday.

What!! Abe tu paagal ho gaya hai kya?? ... you want to come back to these bleddy nakhrebaaz dames ... kaisa aadmi hai! I'm telling you, do what you have to but don't come back here. Seek asylum if need be.

Asylum?? ... What asylum? Nobody grants political asylum to Indians, man.

Who's talking about political asylum dude ... ask for environmental asylum. Say that the bleddy air in your country is killing you!!

***

This next one I call 'The Crossroads'. Which in many ways is where I am at the moment.



New one from James Blunt been playing a lot on the music channels here ... called 1973.



Peace, love, and all the right directions.

Too busy to blog. Seen a lot of the country these past two weekends ... Lausanne, Geneve, Bern, Mt. Titlis, and the one I liked best - Rigi, Queen of the mountains, where I ate deer for the very first time.

Oktoberfest is on in full swing. Guys from the office took me along Monday evening for a beer drinking orgy at the Bauschanzli where I drank nearly three litres of some strange dark brew from the biggest damn beer mugs I have ever seen. Those 1 litre mugs must have weighed at least 4-5 kilos when filled to the brim. Unknown to us it was gay night that evening so the place was full of fags kissing each other on the lips and so on. And we got a condom free with every beer. But it was fun. I couldn't help thinking though: in place of those beefy Gerrys playing crappy folk music, if they'd had a bunch of Goans instead, they'd have bludy rocked the place.

***

But now I'm done with all the touristy spots. Titlis had so many Indians (honeymooners mostly - irritating Delhi-Chandigarh types) that I felt I was back home. They even had signs up in Hindi. Apparently lots of Hindi movies get filmed there .... some Bollywood clown must have injured himself getting off the cable-car or something, who knows.

So that's why I'm thinking of heading off to St. Gallen and Appenzeller country this weekend. Wonderful wonderful beer, Appenzeller Quöllfrisch. I've had so many different beers here - Hurlimann, Eichhof, Feldschlosschen, Appenzeller ... the list keep getting longer.

***

A funny thing in Switzerland though -- the prices of stuff varies dramatically from shop to shop. There is just no way to tell the price of something till you've seen the price tag, because the concept of an MRP simply does not exist. Which can make shopping something of a nightmare. For instance I paid 99 Francs for a Mammut trek bag at Mt. Titlis and when I checked back in Zurich the price of the the very same bag varied between 150 and 199! Bludy crazy. It's great that I paid less, but if I'd paid more, gosh! .... and you know how disturbed we Indians get when we pay more for something.

Those of you emailing on my Gmail account, sorry I haven't replied. I do not have access to Gmail (or any other mail for that matter) or to Facebook and Orkut.

Here are some more - fotos aus der Schweiz. (click to enlargen)



Jelmoli. The most exclusive (and freakin bludy expensive!) department store in Zurich. The lingerie section was - WOW!



Sprungli. Apparently they make the best chocolates in Switzerland ... and I'm talking real Swiss chocolate here - not Toblerone!



The little park off Bahnhofstrasse. I love just sitting on the grass and looking at the chicks.



The Hauptbahnhof or Main Train Station, Zurich. The sheer size (26 platforms) and architecture leaves me spellbound.

Till next time, Cheers!

I think the most annoying English proverb is the one that goes: You can't have your cake and eat it too. What good is the bludy cake if I can't frikkin' eat it. Bullshit!

I'm saying this because in spite of it being all nice and pretty, I don't think I'd be able to live here permanently. Life really would be quite mundane. Everything is so prim and proper that it can get to you after a while ... in fact the word I'd use is 'sanitized'. Now I understand why Indians living in the West save up all year to make that annual journey home. And it's got nothing to do with the country - it's the people.

Let me put it like this -- Life here is a constant. We Indians, we need the variables. Living in a place where everything was the same day in and day out would bludy kill us, even if it was all clean and beautiful. That's why when the train this morning was late by three minutes due to a heavy downpour, I suddenly felt at home. But you should have seen the worry on all the other faces. It was quite amusing.

***

Plan for this weekend not chalked out yet. I think I'd like to explore Zurich some more instead of heading out to Interlaken or Lausanne. But I'm not sure the others would like that too much. You know how it is with us Desis - we need to brag to everyone back home how many places we went to. Doesn't matter that we ended up seeing so little of those places.



It is a common sight here to see couples smooching in public (like these two I photographed at Mt. Pilatus). But when it's an Indian couple like the one I saw at Berne station last wekeend, it really is quite hilarious. More so when both boy and girl are nerdy looking techie types. And there's a big difference when the firangs do it and when we do it. They know how to kiss ... we do something funny with our lips and make idiots of ourselves. I tried to pretend I wasn't looking, or even bothered for that matter, but for some reason they decided to move away.

Food. Last night I ate Falafel at a Lebanese joint. Which was the worst damn Falafel I've ever eaten. Tasteless bludy shit. The previous night I had pizza at Dominoes. And what a treat that was. They have something called a Full House meaning it comes fully loaded. I tell you I'd kill to have pizza like that in India. And of course beer like Eichhof. Bludy good stuff.

Picture right on top is of the sun shining down on Lake Luzern. Taken by me last Saturday with my friends Sony Cybershot. (not a bad picture I think for such a lousy camera)

Ciao.

If you had to tell me six months ago that I’d be celebrating my birthday at a breathtakingly beautiful castle in Switzerland overlooking the Rhine Falls with a pretty Swiss girl I’d say you were bludy shitting me. But that’s exactly what happened. When she heard it was my birthday she made all the arrangements. First we went by boat to the falls and then at sundown a candlelit dinner where she surprised me with a cake and all.

***

This country is nothing short of amazing. They way they see to every little detail, the way everything works like it’s supposed to - the trains, the buses, the trams ... the way it’s all organised with the precision of those timepieces they’re so renowned for, and the whole way they have managed to integrate the old with the new so seamlessly, is something that has me totally captivated. To top it off everything is so damn clean and beautiful.

Saturday we went by train to Luzern and Berne. In Luzern we took the boat across the lake and then headed to Mount Pilatus where I got to go on my very first cable-car ride, and also saw snow for the first time. Berne in the evening was something of a ghost town ... which I am told is what you will find in most cities in Europe - everything (except for the restaurants) shuts by 7 and is closed on weekends. If something is open it is most likely run by an Indian.

The women ... What can I say - they’re gorgeous! And so, so stylish. Black seems to be the colour of choice … and leather a hot favourite. In the five days I’ve been here I have yet to see a shabbily dressed Swiss girl.

Quite surprising to see so many Indians here though. Plenty of Madrasis (or Tamilians as they prefer to be called). But you should see how well behaved they all are. Oh yeah, they will cross on the pedestrian crossing and throw their thrash in the bins, and most importantly - not talk too loud.

***

Here till the end of November so there’s a lot more still to come. Geneve, Lausanne, Basel, St. Moritz … all in the pipeline. Waiting for a buddy of mine to come over and then then the party starts. But things are pretty expensive here. Every time I see something nice in a shop window (like those soft toys) I think about how thrilled JC would be if I bought it for her. But all she’s getting are the Godiva chocolates.

There is one thing though that is damn cheap here - Beer! And boy have I been having lots of it.

Song that was playing a while back at the Burger King I had lunch at. Where the Pakistani girl at the counter spoke to me in German. For Ishani, whose birthday it was yesterday ... and for Bunny whose hippo birdie it is today.

Is it just me, or is he starting to look more and more like this man. Kinky!

***

Yes, it was the finish everybody wanted.

... And the Pakis didn't look too crestfallen, did they?

***

It's pretty elementary to see what this version of the game is all about. If you want to see it, that is.

***

Something to shake off that hangover.

I'm not anti-Hindu or anything but I hate how every Hindu festival spills out onto the streets, resulting in a public nuisance. I think the Gods would much rather be venerated in peoples homes than be made an exhibition of on street corners and at traffic intersections.

***

Jammed with couple of the boys from work this afternoon. Too bad there was no booze. Dry day. So many things in this country just don't make any sense. Like this Ram Sethu nonsense that has put the government in a spot. Ram should have done everyone a favour and just parted the waters.

***

JC went to see a movie with a boy today. Something which in my book qualifies as a date, even though she insists it wasn't. Anyway, whatever it was, she is now being subjected to a thorough interrogation ... quite funny to hear the old man giving her the gyaan on what goes on in the minds of young men these days - guilty until proven innocent!

***

O.K. How many of you with me on this -- Twenty 20 just ain't cricket. It has totally killed the strategic/tactical aspect of the game. And that bowl-out thing used to decide a tie is the most ridiculous shit I've ever seen ... it's like a football penalty shoot-out without the goalkeeper!

Heard it through the grapevine ... Mr. John "who'll stop the rain" Fogerty & Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Do take a look at BBC World's new Visionaries series, where they pit the old against the new in an attempt to decide (through viewer voting) who has made a more lasting impact on their respective fields of work.

I managed to catch the episode on architects Christopher Wren vs. Norm Foster. My vote definitely goes to Wren. Not that Norm Foster is any less a genius, but Wren had a certain passion that even today, some 300 years later, still oozes out of those magnificent creations in the city of London, most notably St. Pauls. And he did it in an age where one didn't have access to the tools Norm Foster has today.

I guess a true visionary is someone whose genius stands the test of time. That's why it's so surprising to see that people have voted Madonna ahead of Mozart in the music category. I mean, come on guys - Madonna?? Only thing about her that future generations will remember are those conical boob covers with the gold tassels which she wore in the Open Your Heart video.

On Charles Dickens vs. J.K. Rowling for literature ... well - tough one, wouldn't you say? :)

***

One person who sure as hell ain't no visionary in his line of work is Ram Gopal Verma! I hear audiences went through never before experienced levels of torture watching Aag. Friend of mine who's had his fill of the shit Bollywood's been dishing out lately says it would be better if every director in the Indian film industry switched to making porn. We could then call it Pollywood.

And Team India managed to live up to their expectation of not rising to the occasion once again. You'd have to be a complete moron not to see that the whole damn series was fixed. The way they let Utthapa score in those last few overs the previous game, it was quite obvious that they (or rather the bookies) wanted something to play for at Lords. Total no-brainer that the Limeys were going to win.

US Open. It gets so boring when all the pretty girls are out, no? Might as well just give Justine the bludy trophy and send her home.

***

Couple of guys from work want to jam up with the Blues this evening. You get the grog and the guitars and I'll bring my plectrum, is what I told them. One of them is an aspiring song-writer ... looks like I'm in for an overdose of 'original compositions'.

Change of plans. News has just reached me that Fats is down from Dubai ... guess he was planning to surprise me, the bugger. To hell with jam-session ... I'm chilling with Fats.

DM Band. This one for my old buddy Vishnu. Hope you're doin' good mate.

Someone said there'd been an accident up ahead. Half an hour of crawling through traffic later, I see the truck stopped on one side of the road. As we come up closer I can see the mangled frame of a motorcycle jammed under the front tyre. I turn my head away somewhat instinctively. But something strikes me as strange .... no blood, no splattered remains, nothing. They couldn't have cleaned up the mess that quickly. Then I see him, still holding his helmet, badly shaken ... a couple of bystanders trying to bring him back to his senses. The look on his face was one of disbelief. That he was still alive.

It takes a second ... to change everything. To bring faith back to one who had none; to remove the bitterness from one who was engulfed in it; to be grateful for what you have left ... and to want to make the best of it.

I completed a month on the new job yesterday. There are lots of things I don't like about the place ... stuff I miss from the old company. Like paper cups. India's third largest IT company and they don't got paper cups. Bludy pisses me off. You gotta taka a damn mug and wash it before and after you have your coffee. Is this how they counter the effects of the appreciating Rupee, I wonder? Just a matter of time before they tell us to bring our own coffee in a flask from home. Also there are no paper napkins in the loo (nobody seems to know why) ... next thing you know there'll be no toilet tissue! Seriously, it wouldn't surprise me.

***

So Mel's gone interactive. Pretty damn cool having your blogger talk to you, innit? But don't be expecting me to do no such thing ... public speaking is something that always scared me shitless.

I was wondering the other day -- how many of you actually like the music I play .... and how many of you even listen? Not too many I reckoned. So it was nice to get an email from Sangy this morning telling me the music does nice things for her soul :)

And she's got a request ... seems she's a Paul Hewson fan. Me too. Awesome bugger that Paul Hewson. Here he is babe ... just for you.