Recent keyword searches leading to the Blues.

alyster pereira
Wonder what happened to Alyster. Don't think he made bail .... Or did dad pull a few strings as a result of which our boy is now safe at home, grounded till Christmas.

sania boobs
This one's pretty much there every time I look up the stats. But the girl does have a prominent pair of lady-bumps, so you can't really blame the boys for getting excited.

richard bach taught to fly
Richard Bach. What's he up to these days? Probably has had enough of his own wisdom.

jazz house goa
Jazz House (on Candolim-Aguada Road) bludy sucks. When it started it was great ... but when I went there with Jules this May there was some Goan pedro playing Michael Learns to Rock numbers on his casio.

candy dolpher
Oh I love Candy .... best female saxophone player ever. And the name's Dulfer, not Dolpher. She became famous after she played on a track called Lily was here with Dave Stewart (of the Eurythmics).

b-grade hindimovies sex
I've never seen a B-grade Hindi movie, you know .... and if the A-grade's are so bad, I can just imagine what the B's must be like. I hear they're quite popular in places like UP though, which is where most of the despo's can be found. But do they really have sex in them?

blogspot saltwater blues
Another one I see all the time. Hence I want to ask the person who comes here by typing the above in his/her searchbar -- do you do this for every website you visit? There is something known as 'favourites' you know ... makes life a lot easier.

nandan nilekani's daughter
... is she hot?

r.e.m. unplugged download
go buy the CD, you lousy free(down)loader. Michael Stipes has to work very hard for his money.

shahrukh double chin
Even if he has one, he probably goes to France every two months to get it fixed ... along with the wrinkles and the warts on his bum.

mallu girls for sex in dubai
Mr. Cherian!!! - you should be ashamed of yourself .... poor Leelama and the kutty's haven't seen you in three years and this is what you're doing in your spare time, you perverted patti!!

myspace sivamani
Sivamani, the percussionist? ... He can write??

salt water blues
People please note -- its 'saltwater' (one word), not salt water.

natasha jog, ndtv
Natasha Jog - she's nice, but my favourite NDTV anchor these days is the cherubic Smriti Rao. Had a crush on her ever since her Headlines Today days ... which in fact was the only reason I used to watch Headlines Today. But bludy Prannoy just had to have her, didn't he? And she looked a lot better then than she does now on NDTV - too much make up. They turn her into a Bombay bar-girl sometimes with that dark-red lipstick and all.

And finally, one that I don't quite know what to make of ... people do searches for the weirdest things, don't they? Anyway I'm gonna ask all you spicy brains to contribute here.

you know youre mallu if

let's see now -- If you're six and there's nothing you want more desperately than to change your name! (that's what my friend Renji said when asked what he'd wish for if he was granted one wish)

This is Lily was here with the lovely and extremely talented Candy Dulfer on sax. Ever noticed how lovely always precedes extremely talented? :)

I reckon it might be wise for Greg Chappell to take a little vacation after this current tour of South Africa .... I bet some crazed cricket fan(atic)s back home have already got their version of a fatwa out on him.

***

Papers are full of stories on the Bachchans visit to Varanasi. And the little matter of Ash accompanying them. Rumours abound ... CNN IBN is quoting some astrologer as saying that 'the family had gone there to offer prayers at the temples to overcome a problem relating to the horoscope of Aishwarya'

Now let me get this right? From what I know, if your horoscopes don't match, they don't match - end of story. Or is that by offering prayers (and a sizeable donation perhaps) at a particular temple you can somehow get the planets to present a more favourable version?

And why on earth is Babyshek so miffed over his lady-love's little chummi in Dhoom2? To think she was being considered for a Bond movie .... He'd have had bludy 007 killed if that had happened!

Anyway, from now on our hero Rhithik better think twice before kissing someone's ash!

***

Shahrukh hosting KBC 3 will be a good change, what say? ... His first guest should be Karan.

Ohhh babe, this seat is sooooo hot ... chalo kuch kartein na!

Abbe not now ... wait till we get in the car

Bitch you always make me wait :(

Ab pehla sawaal, one thousand rupees ke liye -- What colour undies does Shahrukh wear in Don -- (a) Blue (b) Green (c) White; or (d) Rainbow?

(d) Rainbow!

Sahi jawaaj, aap ek hazaar jeet gaye. But how did you know??

I have them here in my pocket! :)

For S ... Happy Birthday!

if you can't find
what you're looking for
look again
at what you've found

Interesting article in Edge 182 by Dan Gilbert called The Science of Happiness. I reproduce a litle of it here. Tell me what you think.

For the last decade I've been obsessed with one problem: How well can the human brain predict the sources of its own future satisfaction? If the answer were "Very well, thank you," then I'd be out of a job. Research suggests that I will be employed for a long time to come.

We are often quite poor at predicting what will make us happy in the future for two reasons. First, we have been given a lot of disinformation about happiness by two sources: Genes and culture. Both genes and cultures are self-perpetuating entities that need us to do things for them so that they can survive. Because we are interested in our own happiness and not theirs, both entities fool us into believing that's what is good for them is also good for us. We believe that having children will make us happy, that consuming goods and services will make us happy. But the data show that money has minor and rapidly diminishing effects on happiness, and that parents are generally happier watching TV or doing housework than interacting with their children.

So what happens if we try to disregard the genetic and cultural imperatives and just figure it all out for ourselves? What happens if we just close our eyes, imagine different possible futures, and try to decide which one would make us happiest?

My research with Tim Wilson shows that when people try to simulate future events — and to simulate their emotional reactions to those events — they make systematic errors. Modern people take the ability to imagine the future for granted, but it turns out that this is one of our species' most recently acquired abilities — no more than three million years old. The part of our brain that enables us to simulate the future is one of nature's newest inventions, so it isn't surprising that when we try to use this new ability to imagine our futures, we make some rookie errors. The main error, of course, is that we vastly overestimate the hedonic consequences of any event. Neither positive nor negative events hit us as hard or for as long as we anticipate. This "impact bias" has proved quite robust in both field and laboratory settings.

Oddly, we don't seem to learn all that much from our own experience. To learn from experience requires that we be able to remember it, and research shows that people are about as bad at remembering their past emotions as they are predicting their future emotions. That's why we make the same errors again and again.

***

You may think that it would be good to feel happy at all times, but we have a word for animals that never feel distress, anxiety, fear, and pain: That word is dinner.

Negative emotions have important roles to play in our lives because when people think about how terribly wrong things might go and find themselves feeling angry or afraid, they take actions to make sure that things go terribly right instead. Just as we manipulate our children and our employees by threatening them with dire consequences, so too do we manipulate ourselves by imagining dire consequences. People can be so anxious that their anxiety is debilitating, but that's the extreme case. Anxiety and fear are what keep us from touching hot stoves, committing adultery, and sending our children to play on the freeway. If someone offered you a pill that would make you permanently happy, you would be well advised to run fast and run far. Emotion is a compass that tells us what to do, and a compass that is perpetually stuck on north is worthless.

***

We're all told that variety is the spice of life. But variety is not just over-rated, it may actually have a cost. Research shows that people do tend to seek more variety than they should. We all think we should try a different doughnut every time we go to the shop, but the fact is that people are measurably happier when they have their favorite on every visit — provided the visits are sufficiently separated in time.

Those last four words are the important ones. If you had to eat 4 donuts in rapid succession, variety would indeed spice up your experience and you'd be wise to seek it. But if you had to eat 4 donuts on 4 separate Mondays, variety would lower your overall enjoyment. The human brain has tremendous difficulty reasoning about time, and thus we tend to seek variety whether the doughnuts are separated by minutes or months.

Well - I told you Karan Thapar and Ram Jethmalani in the same room together would be super-entertaining. Loved every second of it. Is this seriously the guy who not too long ago was considered India's finest criminal defense lawyer? If you ask me he is bludy mad!

***

And since when has it become part of police procedure in this country to let the media question the accused in a crime? I was quite surprised when I saw that chap Chattrapal whatshisname, the main accused in the Anant Gupta kidnapping case, being paraded before the media and made to answer their questions. Doesn't an accused have the right to remain silent here. Now I'm no legal expert, but I bet he does. And will anything he's said be held against him in subsequent judicial proceedings? I'm not sure.

And the questions he was being asked were so inane, you seriously wanted to bludy laugh.

Sach-sach batao ... tumne bachche ko kyoon uthaya?

Kyoonki unke paapa bahut badaa company ka CEO hai, jo bachche ke liya bilkul time nahin nikaal sakta ... kisi ne humko bataya ki unko father-figure ki jaroorat hai, issliye humne usko uthaya.

Aur kaun-kaun shammil thhe, tere plan mein?

Bahut saare log - Jeetu, Pappu, Pawan, Sheila Dixit, Natwar Lal, Lalloo....

Tumne paise ko kahaan chupaya?

Pachhis lakh mere chaddi mein .... baaki Pappu ke chaddi mein.

Itne saare paise chaddi mein??

Ji haan ... humne special Lycra waala chaddi ka intazaam kiya. Uske uppar likha tha - Stash it!

Kya karne walle thhe, tum log itne paise leke?

... humne socha thoda Paris-Waris ghumke aate. Aur Taj Mahal Hotel mein woh restaurant hain na ... Chinese waala - Mings - bahut din se wahan khaana nahin khaya. Baaki sab Sheila, Natwar aur Lalloo ko dene waale thhe - elecson ke liye.

Bachcha ghar vaapas kaisa lauta?

Humne Lalloo ke ghode pe usko bithaya, ghode ko Sector-15 ka address bataya, Pappu ne phir uske gaand pe ke laafa maara, aur bas - ghoda nikkal gaya. Woh bahut smart ghoda hai - sirf English samajta hai.

Aapko kya lagta hai -- kitne saal ki sazaa milne waala hai tumko?

Mere wakil ka kehna ki mujhe chaar-paanch mahine se jyada jail nahin jaana padenga. Woh sab kuch sambhalenga.

Sirf chaar-paanch mahine!! ... kaun hai yeh wakil??

Ram Jethmalani. Aapne shaayad uska naam suna hai. Woh kehta hai ki woh bachcha badaa badmaash hai - usko kidnapping ka drama khelne ka bahut shauk hai!

Toh yeh sab drama tha??

Haan ji. Bachcha bore ho raha tha, issliye uske daddy ne kaha -- "bhai usko motorcycle pe uthake thoda idhar-udhar ghumake vaapas ghar bhej do ... Adobe India ko bhi publicity mil jayega". Lekin yeh sab hamme uss wakt maloom nahin thha ... Jethmalani Sir ne aaj hi sab kuch bataya. Humko toh sirf itna bola tha ki acting karne ke liya pachhis lakh mil jayengi.

Unbelievable ... toh aap actually actor ho?

Ji haan. Aur abhi-abhi Jethlmalani Sir bataa rahe thhe ki hamara acting ekdum jabardast tha -- bachche ko lagaa ki humne sach-much usko kidnap karke leke gaye. Baap bhi bahut khush hai. Aur agle hafte Ekta ke saath Bambai mein hamara audition hai ... woh serial bannana chahati hai - Kyoonki actor bhi kabhi kidnapper tha!

***

Am I in the wrong profession or what! :) Have a good week y'all.

BFN.

for some of us
the waiting
never ends

... even a wanderer
gets lost
sometimes

Do you like my saree? Getting it on was such a headache. I brought it in a bag from home and changed here. You can't imagine how difficult it is to put on a saree in the ladies toilet.

You shouldn't have bothered then.

But I wanted you to see me in a saree. And besides the dress code for today is ethnic, in case you forgot. So what do you think ... How do I look?

You look very beautiful.

I wish you had worn that kurta. I went specially to Fab-India to buy that for you.

I'll wear it, but not to office. I don't want myself looking like a krantikari like all these other fools.

What nonsense! ... you would have looked very sweet. So where are you taking me after work?

Where do you want to go?

I will go anywhere you take me.

How about Poornima Lodge for a quickie!

Shut up, idiot! ... somebody might hear you.

***

At times I feel I know you so well, and yet at other times I feel I don't know you at all.

Someone said exactly the same thing to me just the other day.

Really, who?

It doesn't matter. But that's what happens when you fall in love with a madman.

You know, I've never met anybody like you my whole life. And frankly I'm not even sure what it is I love about you. Btw, what is the one thing you love most about me?

I love that you love me.

***

I don't know why, but I miss you terribly when you're not around. It's almost unbearable. Do you miss me?

Yeah, sometimes.

Is that all you can say? Here I'm admitting that I cannot live without you, and all you can say is, 'yeah sometimes!' ... and now don't give me any of your weird philosophy!

Okay I won't. But I wish you wouldn't miss me the way you do.

... Gosh, you really are frikkin' mad!

Why maroon?

What?? ... Oh the saree -- I thought of wearing the blue one first, but then I decided on maroon. Something told me you'd like it. You do like it, don't you?

I love it.

Let's go for a long bike ride this weekend, what say?

Bike ride? Why?

... Just like that. I like holding you tight.

O.K. Child labour. For or against? Against ... why? Because underprivileged children have the right to a childhood the way you and I had? Yep, they sure do.

For ... What are you, bludy Hitler??

And so another debate gathers steam. Some say banning child labour is madness because it seeks to address the symptoms rather than the problem. Others argue that if children are stopped from working, they might just get a chance to go to school and someday become productive citizens.

Frankly if you asked me, I'd go with 'can't say'. Simply because there are too many children. And unfortunately most of them are born to parents who can't afford to raise them.

Why do the poor have so many kids anyway? If what we hear on the news and read in the papers is true, contraceptives are being made freely available to them. So why are they still propagating like bludy rabbits?

'Shoot the bastards' is what my buddy Ally always says. 'Khabardar agar ek se jyada baccha paida kiya toh! ... you will be bludy shot in the nads!' I tell him we will run out of bullets.

It is a simple case of there being too much supply. Which is pretty much the same reason the BPO industry is flourishing in India. And in this respect how are young adults who work in the BPO's different from children who are forced to work for a living? Getting paid a pittance working ungodly hours with untold cost to their physical and psychological health - isn't it exploitation, isn't it injustice? ... I don't see any NGO's taking up their cause.

The way I see it the only way to stop child labour is to ensure there are less children. Which in a country like ours is as herculean a task as moving Mount Everest from Nepal to India.

That said, we must appreciate the efforts of those trying hard to see that every child gets the childhood he/she deserves. You can change the lives of few, but what about the rest? Will banning child labour make a difference? I certainly hope so. But we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

Peace, love, and cures that don't kill you.

... and sometimes
life teaches you
more lessons
than you need to know