So, we had Nipplegate India at the Lakme Fashion Week yesterday. But I thought good ol' Carol Gracias handled her so-called wardrobe malfunction pretty well. My buddy Ally though is very angry with the news channels.

Bleddy shit dude, can you believe how those news buggers censored that part? This is a democratic country and we all have a right to see Carol's tits!

But what if Carol does not want us to see them?

Dude, what Carol wants does not matter. Everybody over there saw it ... I'm telling you, that bleddy Prannoy Roy must have seen that clip hundred times yesterday! So how dare they censor it when they're showing it to us!

Well, it's not such a big thing really; you've seen how often models walk the ramp topless at fashion shows abroad. In fact I think it's good that it happened; now designers here won't have to worry too much when they design something flimsy or revealing.

But that's what I'm saying dude - nothing is being revealed to us!

What is the big deal, man? They're just tits - everybody has them.

Now you please don't marao that Notting Hill ka dialogue! ... Bleddy Pudding is fida over that chutia Hugh Grant.

Yeah, he's quite a heartthrob.

Dude I'm telling you, we should pack off all our girls to those western countries and bring those firang chicks here. See how bindaast they are - no bleddy nakras like our dames. And everything happens so fatafat: boy asks girl for a date, girl happily says yes, date khattam ho gaya he drops her home, then they have a slightly awkward moment at her doorstep ... and then she says the magic word!

...which is?

COFFEE dude! Would you like to come in for coffee? Coffee = sex, don't you know? And that's it - mission accomplished. Here we have to fight a bleddy Vietnam War just to get laid!

Yeah well, things are different here.

Exactly. So if our dames like white buggers and we like white dames, then why not exchange? That way everybody's happy.

You and your brilliant ideas! Anyway, I feel kinda bad for Carol. It would have been a lot more fun if it was Preity Zinta or someone.

Arre baaap! ... haan yaar, Preity's zintas would have rocked the nation. Sonia Gandhi could have quietly taken back her resignation and nobody would have known!

LOL, yeah she could have. You can be quite funny at times, you know Ally.

Sense of humour, dude ... chicks love it! OK I'll ask you riddle: Why is a fashion-show ramp also called a runway?

I'm not sure. Why??

Because if you sit too close to the babes, your plane will take off!!