What if people were really honest when putting out matrimonials. Wouldn't that be - interesting?
Male aged so-and-so working as bla-bla-bla seeks beautiful homely girl with hot sweltering body, experienced in the ancient art of lovemaking, with good culinary skills and well paying job.
End of story. I think women would actually appreciate that. So you may be flooded with calls from various escort agencies offering just that without the hassle of marriage, but still, it's worth a shot wouldn't you say?
Same goes for the women. Why not something like -- Seeking nice gentle man with sober habits and non-philandering ways, having tons of money and no blocked arteries.
I think it'll work, I really do.
***
But on a more serious note - why do people lie? Why would a girl who's dark as the night call herself wheatish, and why would someone with an ass that could hold half the floodwater in Wadala call herself slim? Beats me. Or do they believe that other favourable aspects of themselves which will emerge subsequently would cover up for the bits they lied about. I don't know.
Honesty in these matters is very important I think -- Look honey, I'm an ugly old bastard who can't offer you much - just the love of a good man and a beer on weekends. Or some red wine if you prefer. Plus I'll sing for you when you're blue.
Why not?
Anybody interested you know where to reach me.
***
The Bellamy Brothers ... If I said you had a beautiful body.
Male aged so-and-so working as bla-bla-bla seeks beautiful homely girl with hot sweltering body, experienced in the ancient art of lovemaking, with good culinary skills and well paying job.
End of story. I think women would actually appreciate that. So you may be flooded with calls from various escort agencies offering just that without the hassle of marriage, but still, it's worth a shot wouldn't you say?
Same goes for the women. Why not something like -- Seeking nice gentle man with sober habits and non-philandering ways, having tons of money and no blocked arteries.
I think it'll work, I really do.
***
But on a more serious note - why do people lie? Why would a girl who's dark as the night call herself wheatish, and why would someone with an ass that could hold half the floodwater in Wadala call herself slim? Beats me. Or do they believe that other favourable aspects of themselves which will emerge subsequently would cover up for the bits they lied about. I don't know.
Honesty in these matters is very important I think -- Look honey, I'm an ugly old bastard who can't offer you much - just the love of a good man and a beer on weekends. Or some red wine if you prefer. Plus I'll sing for you when you're blue.
Why not?
Anybody interested you know where to reach me.
***
The Bellamy Brothers ... If I said you had a beautiful body.
23 comments:
you are right...everyone wud totally appreciate that...
hell! i am lookng for such honesty myself ;)
oh why? if everything works out, they'd have their whole lives to figure out the inconvenient truth. let them have optimistic fun in the ad atleast ;)
That is good food for thought I'd say...the dynamics of arranging marriages and courting and how it works in the Indian Society...
Actually, I do not :)
but your blog is interesting.
uhm. i reckon a lot of people actually THINK they are what they say no?
I knew someone who wrote a covering mail to a friend of mine which started with "Be prepared to be astonished and stunned by my talents". And he went on to list modesty as one of his virtues.
I LOVE matrimonial ads.
Got any hits so far?
I've said it before and I'm saying it again.
Wanted: A rich gay man who doesn't want to come out of the closet. Blame for inability to produce child to be borne by self in exchange for bungalow on Carter Road and unlimited funds.
Bunny
With apologies to Jane Austen, I have this to say:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a human being in possession of excellent credentials, must be in want of a mate.
Apes and chimps moon each other to get it over and done with, while human beings "embellish".
Blame it on the missing link?
wat? be honest and miss out on all the fun? never.
wld take the 'mystery' out !! lol
and should also apply to interviews! .....career? bah!, am joining you only coz you're paying me slightly more peanuts than my present organization.
Hahaha! So true!
haha. i once saw an ad that said " 63 year old male, thrice divorced, no issues, seeks beautiful young girl". that was something!
i saw some of the honest ones the last weekend - 28 year old man seeks beautiful girl for platonic marriage.
anyhow, I like ur post, specially coz I belong too to the honest lot.
hats off to them for even putting up ads. i find the whole process so frightening that if i were in it, i'd certainly want to pretend to be some(body) else. it's so crazy. can you even put up an ad without describing your looks? do you know the rules? there's something off about this system. i think it's that people in these ads ignore the whole compatibility angle. for example, you need to be something that matches something else. just seeking something else makes no sense. hmmm. what would i say? so here goes (in the real world):
looking for a previous life/this life/many life partner (not necessarily male) who is not so dominating (because i'm dominating enough) and who isn't obsessed with sucess (because really, it doesn't mean anything) and can take a temper (because I pms like a bitch) who yearns to be with a wonderful travel companion (i am i am) who splits herself in several directions (diversity is everything) and cooks a wonderful meal (whenever she's in the mood), and finally, is a teeny bit overweight (but is really trying to live a healthy life). five extra points if he can play guitar.
What is funny is honesty or no honesty, your views remain the same - guy looking for "innocent" looking "hot" girl who can cook.. and the girl has to look for a "nice" guy with money!
And this coming from an interesting guy.. hmm well..
so anyways, this reminds of a law my friend quotes
BBAL = C
Beauty * Brains * Availabilty * Luck = Always Constant
Now why are we still so single.. Go figure! :)
What?? Not faff and ruin it?
Wouldn't it be the most wack ass first date if the dude didnt appear anything close to his little write-up and there you would are, immediately blurting out, "HELL NO!!!"
Is it just me who thinks i sorta sounded a bit sadistic right there?
And i could spend eternity with someone who could sing to me. ;)
XOXO
I tried putting that up at the time I got married, but then I got all crazy (*****, *****, *****!!!)
so I just put up the real me in ashley madison now.. what? hey! come on..!!
Hahaha, I soooo know what you mean. Wouldn't it be fun if we could read the fine print behind the claims?
I'm a smart, fair, handsome and good-natured man (according to my mommy).
OR
I'm a simple, down-to-earth, pretty girl (who'll make you wish you were never born.)
The mind shivers at the possibility...
Think both matrimonials and honesty dont really go together :)
"Male aged so-and-so working as bla-bla-bla seeks beautiful homely girl with hot sweltering body, experienced in the ancient art of lovemaking, with good culinary skills and well paying job."
Can we safely assume that your own advert would look something like this?
Oh wait, never mind.. I had assumed that when you said "old" in the last advert, you meant it literally so I assumed you were composing it for someone else. Serenading someone is also a good way to ensure that they don't stay mad at you for very long! :)
U r hillarious! I really really hope i get to meet u someday!
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