You know that new Tata Sky ad where a pissed-off Sardarji Aamir drives off with the set-top-box while the puttar is away and gives it to some guy he sees on the road - the original was slightly different: he flings the bludy thing out the car window right there in the middle of nowhere and goes home. I know because I saw the original on our man CS's computer. Any guesses why they changed it? I was quite amused when he told me.

Speaking of originals, he's got some kick-ass pics of Asin, one in which she's wearing a nice stringy bikini looking all super-sexy, which now no one will ever get to see because they felt it was too risky for uber-conservative South India. Anybody wants? ;)

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IPL South Africa. Kinda like flat beer if you ask me. The fizz is just not there, wot say? And when people like Mandi(no b)ra Bedi say things like- Ooh the atmosphere here is just electric, it's unbelievable ... wow the crowd support is a-mazing!!! you don't really believe that shit, do you?

Cricket lately has gotten kinda boring to be honest ... maybe we've had too much. I hear the Pakis have been removed from co-hosting the forthcoming World Cup. And rightly so. You can't play cricket wondering if that ball coming at you at high speeds is a modified grenade! Whole damn country's gone down the toilet if you ask me. Barack should just send the boys in there and teach them rotters to behave.

But our country's no better I tell you. Talking to some of the guys at work the other day an interesting fact that came to light is that nobody (and these are what you can call educated voters) knows with any clarity what individual party policies on various issues are. Seriously, why aren't there televised debates like you have in America, so we know who is going to screw us where and how. People in the audience can be asked to leave their footwear outside, if that's what has the netas worried.

Take us Macs (Goans, Mangys and those villains we call East-Indians) for instance. We always vote Congress. Period. Nobody really knows what the Congress will do for the economy or anything else, but we do know they won't mind our girls wearing short skirts on Sundays. And who the hell bothers to read party manifestos anyway? Ask Aunty Hilda what a manifesto is and I bet she'll say it's some kind of ladies shoe you get down on Hill Road. Fact is it's simply unthinkable to vote for anybody else, nothing less than a sin I'd say. And God help you if you did and told somebody. Hell, they might even send you to Confession- Forgive me Father for I have sinned ... I voted MNS. Dammit son, now we'll send you to Orissa next time they go on the rampage! And you can tell your sister Rosy she'll have to stop canoodling with that boy Charles down at Carter Road!

But this whole voting business has been made - what's the word ... kinda cool - by the media, don't you think? Yeah, it's cool to vote. Or so a bunch of Khan and Kapoor idiots from Bollywood tell us. Arre we will vote dude, but do you buggers ever vote?? Deepika will probably get a whole session of facial skin treatments and a new pair of Dolce & Gabbana shades before stepping out in the sun to stand in those queues. They do have to stand in queues like the rest of us, don't they?

Frankly I'll vote for any party that slashes taxes on liquor and encourages all our wimmen to go Mandira! And that's only because there seems to be no talk of serious issues these elections, it's just the mud-slinging happening.

Tommy "free fallin" Petty & the Heartbreakers on a very scorching Sunday. Nice week ... and for what it's worth, Go Vote!